Get Better? Not. Retirement Stinks!

by Doris, SC

I retired three years ago from a great job in NYC with firecracker dreams that have fizzled.

Love the outdoors and could not wait til I left NY to get outdoors. I followed my son to SC after his job transfer, built a beautiful new little house. Initially, it was great. I felt I could exhale after a high pressure job.

I’m finding after three years it is getting worse. I have become nothing but a couch potato. I bought a small mobile home a year ago and I do all the repairs and work on it myself, but go nowhere. My grandkids here are getting older and I see them less and less. I did the gym thing, etc., and find that boring. I have made no friends here except for a few neighbors who are all married. I am a single woman. I am nothing more than a convenience to watch their dog, or get invitations while husbands are away.

After three years, I am done. I feel I gave it a shot. My son in Northern California and his wife are expecting a baby and he has asked me to move there. I could be useful in helping them out.

I love nor cal and realize my standard of living will decline but I am seriously considering putting this house on the market, packing up the motor home and driving west - alone with my cameras. I think I need the challenge or I’ll be dead within a year.

Asked myself where I see myself in two years and I do not want to be here.

Thoughts, anyone? Retirement stinks.

Comments for Get Better? Not. Retirement Stinks!

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Go for it
by: Mitz

A fresh start sounds great. Look for a retirement over 55 community if you can. One with a club house and lots of activities.

Do it!
by: Cindi H - NC

Moving to NoCal sounds like a great idea. A friend of mine who had an unexpected divorce just before retirement lived in CA for 2 years with her sister and husband, walking dogs for a little extra money. She got into hiking and met a lot of people.

She since relocated to AZ to be near one of her daughters and got into an retirement apt (money was tight). Did some volunteering, learned to line dance, hiked a lot out there. Recently moved in with a new boyfriend.

As long as you look for the good, you will find it. Your camera will get a workout there. All the best!

Don't be Timid!!
by: Anonymous

Just do it... I also am 3 years out of retirement and you're right ... it stinks. The key after retirement is doing what you want on a whim... and not caring what anyone except the most important people in your life think.

Be bold.. please yourself.. it's your life!

Go West!
by: Michael D. Bell, REALTOR®, Venice Florida

You're a camper with a camera. You're an adventurer. You're single. I would head west, stay in different campgrounds, and start taking pictures. There are some people who live in campers full-time, and campgrounds with all types of activities. And, if you are so inclined, you just might meet that special someone along the way.

Just do it !
by: Sara in PA

I agree - just do it. Check out this group of ladies who travel around in their Campers. Sounds like s fun bunch !

https://www.sistersonthefly.com/

Good luck - enjoy your adventure and let us know how it goes.
Sara

Choose wisely!
by: June bug in Wisconsin

I have been retired 5 years. It took me a year to adjust. Am single and do not have much family left. My niece and nephew are busy people so I see them at holidays. I have two dogs who's care gives me purpose every day. I do chair yoga twice a week and there is a jolly group there. I stayed close to retired former coworkers. As a result, even in winter, I go out to lunch and chatter once a week. A different friend every week, but it gets me out.

Be careful thinking being near your children is a cure for loneliness. Several friends have done this and once their children get busy they are left in a new community and feeling alone. Several friends volunteer with groups who share their passions such as humane societies/libraries/ schools/hospitals. Maybe a part-time job would suit you.

Do not give up, think about what would give you joy and purpose.

Pack it up
by: Ron

Packing up the motorhome and heading west seems like a great thing to do.... an advantage of retirement is to be able to do what we want. Might even want to take that motorhome on a few picture taking adventures along the way. Thats what retirement is about.

Go west
by: Anonymous

Northern ca is a good choice . People are more open minded and it sounds like you have nothing to lose.

Good luck
Sam

Don't Center Your Life Around Others
by: Linda/Nevada

I would really think it thoroughly before moving to be with relatives. Their lives could change without any warning and could leave you in a bad situation.

At our age, I think it is best to live our lives in our own terms and not be dependent on the lives of others.

Our children, sometimes out of guilt or pity, will invite us into their daily lives but all that can change because of jobs, financial problems or they just might get tired of the arrangement.

Adjusting to retirement takes time and experimenting with new ideas. I always told my daughter that it is more important to have quality rather than quantity when it comes to friends.

Wander in the great outdoors
by: Dave

Hi get the campervan fuelled up, load your camera and go see your stunning country. Don't be the baby sitter and as for the gym, it's not for everyone as you found put.

There's no one with the magic answer but there are people out there who could be the next big friendship and maybe you will find them. Being fed up and thinking that life sucks is a last resort ,working is the norm for most people but not us , the survivors even the most boring day in my life is 100% better than working we do not have long on this wee blue ball , so grab life and wring every ounce out of it , whether you want too or not .

Good luck on whatever you decide.

retirement and family
by: Diane. Canada

I am somewhat in the same situation. Retired 5 years ago and moved closer to my daughter and grandsons. I seen the kids everyday as I babysat after school for 4 years but now they are older and I rarely see them at all. My daughter and soninlaw and the kids are a close unit and I do not feel comfortable in their home.

I too would like to move but don't know if that is a good idea or not. moving to another place means establishing myself with a new community. Finding a doctor, dentist etc and building a friendship base. All difficult as you get older.

Maybe give it a bit longer and use your other child for holiday time. Try to build friendships in your own age group, maybe attend a senior center.

Good luck