Got to turn this around!

by Bailey
(Guymon ok. US)

I have taught since 1976. I turned 61 in December and retired.

At first, I felt like I had the freedom I have always dreamed of. I guess it's too much freedom. I don't want to do anything. I went to dr. to rule out medical issues.

I was told that I might have a sleeping disorder. Went through the test, got an apap machine; and what a bunch of crap! I don't use the damn thing and may have to pay for it.

I still am not motivated to do anything.

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"happy" retirement?
by: Lisa

My husband and I retired a year ago. We moved to a new area and live out in the country far from town. He loves it and has no desire for friends or activities.

I, however, miss my grandkids, having women friends and interesting cultural and social things to do. I miss interacting with people. I want to move back to where we were and he wants to stay here. I feel isolated and empty.

I see now that we both had different dreams for retirement and he is living his but I'm not happy. This isn't how I imagined spending my retirement years. I want to travel, experience new things, and be challenged.

WENDY: Yes, this happens to many. How on earth can we live together for years and never discuss what we want to do in retirement? But it happens... sending prayers.
Read a lot of responses and want to respond to this one
by: Bailey. Bailey in Oklahoma. Your Name/Location

When you retire...you are no longer Mrs. Blah. You are what you think you are. It is very easy to settle into being nothing...especially in the winter. You can stay in bed all covered...even if you are awake.

Then one day...you realize that the day is gone when you get up. You have lost your identity.

It is so easy to get it back. Take a shower when you get up...no rush. Put on makeup as though you were going to the office party. Wear clothes that are comfy. Workout yoga pants...whatever. Go get fresh produce or even one thing that you need. Keep a current list.

Spread your happiness.
Searching for fun activities & friends
by: Donna--Tallahassee,Fl

I was a nurse for 38 yrs and love being retired for the last 2 yrs, but live on a busy road and not a community setting so can't walk around easily to meet neighbors. I have lots of household chores but that gets boring.

Would love to find friends with similar interests.
My husband still works and he is often very tired and goes to sleep early.

Would be fun to meet girlfriends and couples to hang out with.
Re: Been there!
by: Paula

I like what you said Betsy and you are right maybe some of us are just tired! That's the reason I retired I was tired.

After 40+ years of working, some of those years spent raising a daughter solo, I was just plain tired. Tired of being mom and dad, homemaker, gardener, breadwinner, nurse and so on, I was just worn out but I never realized it until I read your comment.

I retired in March last year and have spent most of that time trying to be the "perfect" retiree! You know, with hobbies and interests and all the other things we 60 something baby boomers are supposed to be involved in. Yeah right! Three months ago the depression hit me hard. My doctor told me I had diabetes. I already had mobility issues which kept me from being active; just walking up and down the steps in the front of my house is painful.

Today I woke up feeling just awful. I cried and prayed and just felt the lowest of the low. Nothing interested me. So I did nothing. Except for getting up and showering and doing a few dishes I just let myself mope around. I have trouble sleeping through the night so I decided to take a nap.

First I listened to a relaxation meditation then I slept for about an hour and woke actually feeling better! Amazing!

I think I am just being way to hard on myself trying to fit in somewhere instead of just being myself and taking my time to recover from all those stressful years. Maybe it takes a little longer than a year!

So I don't know what tomorrow will bring but maybe it doesn't matter so much for now.
In the Same Boat!
by: Glenda - Jacksonville FL

So happy to find this website! I typed in Nervous about retiring and this was the first one that popped up! Thank you everyone for sharing and Wendy for this site!

I completed my client's work at the end of April and turned 61 this month (June 2015). I am collecting unemployment now so need to apply to 5 jobs each week to continue receiving benefits through August. BUT I really do not want to return to Corporate America.

As most of you have posted, I have been working for over 40 years (in the computer field before PC's were even invented)!

I am so ready to retire but am nervous about what to do. A lot of my friends (late 50's) do not understand why I want to retire! It finally hit me turning 60 after losing my father and 4 others this past year that life is way too short to be stressed working for 40 years.

My goal is to work part-time at Lowes, Hallmark, grocery store or somewhere just to get through until Social Security next year and meet new people. Lots of working around the house for the last couple of months and most all is done now. Have been reading, swimming, working in the yard but what next?

I do not have any children, single (but dating a terrific supportive man for several years), am not a joiner but need to get out of the house.

I also am in a "rut" got to turn it around! Volunteer? Maybe work in St. Augustine at an archeology dig? Teach computers to seniors(!!)? Mentor young adults?

Don't know how to start and get out.
you are depressed I think
by: Rose Raintree Arlington Wa.

This is normal adjustment issues after working so many years. I was a nurse for 35 years and busy all the time and felt affirmed and needed and then all of a sudden nothing but me and the days to fill.

It has taken me 3 years to now enjoy my retirement and realize there is more to life then work. I have begun to enjoy not having to rush, and learning how to garden, and paint my house and browse through antique stores and even take the occasional small trip.

So hang in there and I am surprised your doctor does not recognize what is going on you are simply depressed from the major life style change.
Cpap
by: Anonymous

My husband hated his Cpap, too, until he got used to it and then realized how much better he felt and how much more rested he was. No more daytime sleepiness or needing naps (he could take a nap if he wanted to, just didn't feel the need any longer.)

His doctor told him he was really taking a chance with his health because of his sleep apnea (both obstructive and 'central' apnea - meaning the second form is from his brain). He could have a heart attack or stroke if it was left untreated. It sounds like you might have some depression and that can be influenced by sleep apnea, too.

I hope you will give the Cpap another try. Additionally, many of us have had to deal with depression following retirement but the good news is, it usually 'lifts' with time. In the meantime, do something - anything to get yourself moving.

Action is the best therapy for depression and it doesn't have to be 'targeted' at anything in particular - just get moving.

Best wishes.
More Freedom
by: Joe W.

I think that you can never get too much freedom. A teacher normally has the summer months off to pursue their own hobbies or interests. So, there must be something out there that sparks your curiosity.

What is it?

Joe W.
No more sleeplessness
by: Elna Nugent

Bailey:
Do you drink coffee? I discovered online that my favorite coffee, Starbucks, has double the caffeine that is in all other coffees. I have had to give up coffee completely because of problems sleeping. Not anymore.

I drink green tea that has some of it marked naturally decaffeinated.but which still has traces of caffeine in it. The only coffee or tea on the market that is completely free of caffeine must contain the words "caffeine free " on it like Celestial herbal teas Sleepytime , Camomile and others.

You may not be into tea but my son who is in a high stress
business, has found that many guys drink it at home and they are nowhere near as hyper as they were. Best of all they sleep.

Stress is probably the main reason most people can't sleep and coffee not only insures the problem, it doubles it and has hig acidity. Love and Blessings.
motivation
by: Anonymous

Do you have children, grandchildren?
Have you ever thought of helping others at a hospital or care center?

No matter what get some exercise, at least walking outside if possible every day.
DEPRESSION
by: Loyce!

Share your problems with depression with a professional who will help you navigate through this challenge.
Been there!!
by: Betsy in Upstate NY

I'd say this: we are damned TIRED after working all those years! I told my doctor too...all tests came back fine. So I just went with it! I took naps, went to bed early and just decided to listen to my body. It WORKED!!

After a good year I started to feel a lot more rested. I even feel younger. I just didn't let all that sleep make me feel guilty or lazy...chalked it up to my poor exhausted body, mind & spirit needing some honest to goodness sleep.

So my advice is to REST whenever you feel the need. Your body, mind and soul will thank you!

You are alright, just TIRED 💜
Turn around
by: Kathryn - Chicago, Il

I so identify - I've explored volunteering with the homeless, pregnant teens,veterans shelters - none seems to have clicked. I'm not a childrens persons so mentoring is not it.

Hate to veg in the house. Going to start Zumba Gold (for seniors ) & Gentle Yoga just to socialize - AARP has a program "Life Reimagined " which is finding purpose in retirement.

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