Grief and loss

by Jennifer Donovan
(Houghton, MI)

Three years retired and hating every minute of it. Working with a therapist, I've finally realized that what I am dealing with - or not dealing with - is loss and grief.

I've lost my husband, I've lost my brother, I've lost my life's work and I've lost my Health. I've lost my positive attitude, and I've lost all hope.

Now comes the really hard work - learning to accept these losses and find new ways to think and feel about myself and my life.

Wish me well on this oh-so-difficult journey.

Comments for Grief and loss

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by: Goldie

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost many loved ones/friends too. It is sad and leaves an emptiness in my life. I hope the therapist can offer you a positive way to overcome your grief. I will pray for you.

Grief and loss
by: Carol, Canada

Oh, Jennifer, I'm so very sorry to hear of the trials you are going through. One loss is bad enough, but what you have endured is beyond what is bearable.

This may seem simplistic and maybe your health would prevent this, but could you get a pet to care for? A kitty is much easier to care for.

I am very old and alone and I would not have made it through the pandemic without my two fur babies (cats)

Sending warm wishes your way.

Good Luck
by: Alison NY

I do wish you luck in your journey in retirement. Isn't it funny that they talk about these being the golden years, but fail to mention that there will be loss and sadness and difficulty more often than not.

I too have had to seek a therapist and I have found some comfort in meditation, yoga, volunteer work etc. But it is a daily commitment to finding positives...if I let myself I could fall into a deep dark hole.

Understand that you are not alone. There would be no need for a retirement blog if it were an easy transition. For many of us, it is exceptionally difficult.

Hang in there....

by: Susie/San Francisco

My heart goes out to you Jennifer - over your multiple losses.

I woke up this morning after a dream of losing a very dear friend who was like a godfather to me. In the dream it was his ghost that showed up and basically just tipped his hat to me. I cried and cried when i woke up.

And then i, began to do my morning stretches. What came to me was…and you’re still alive. So LIVE. And all of a sudden I shifted.

I am alive and yes I do have loss in my life; however, I also have life in my life.

Just the fact you posted this comment and put yourself out there means you are being vulnerable and open to sharing with others. I truly believe community is the healing force as we age.

I find myself slowing down and walking more mindfully. With every step I affirm I am healthy, happy and holy. Each movement brings a new presence of the state where I am.

Holding you in light and love, S

grief and loss
by: matt i

grief and loss are emotions that are the most difficult to overcome. However you may consider to keep living the best you can to honor your loss of husband and brother.

The best of life is lived quietly, where nothing happens but our calm journey through the day, where change is imperceptible and the precious life is everything. We really have no place to live but our own hearts.

My therapy is to watch the unbelievable documentaries that are available to remind us of the miracle of life and the sorrow that sometimes clings, but nevertheless at least we can experience our emotions in the best country in the world, most people only display hunger, thirst, sickness in their countries because their emotions haven't had the chance to surface.

Hang on girl.
by: Anonymous

Jennifer, we have lost touch, but see your post and hope to re-connect. I have some ideas to help you, as I hate to think of it, but I've lost so many of my loved ones and friends in only a few years, I'm acquainted to grief and loss. Hang on girl. Ruth

WENDY: Ruth and Jennifer, if you want to reconnect, both of you need to email me and give me your email addresses and I will connect you again!

by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach


We've emailed a few times and I never realized you lost your husband and brother... I assume relatively recently?

Sending prayers your way!

As with all of us left behind grieving loved ones, you will find a way. You were left here for a reason, think of what you are grateful for each and every day.

You have many blessings!

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