Happy Retirement Plans

I am a 74 year old who belongs to that demographic the federal government calls elder orphans, seniors aging alone with absolutely no family.

I spent five years bedridden and another in a wheelchair because of Lyme Disease and its co-infections. I belonged to several online Lyme Disease groups, one of which was Christian.

Ten years ago I was randomly matched in that group with a prayer partner who happened to live half an hour from me. She got well. I didn't.

At that point, we began to visit in person. Over the years we became close friends as we found things we had in common. I became like an older sister to her, and she began to share with me the secrets of her heart. I knew almost everything about her children and grandchildren, who did not live locally, but I did not know them personally.

Planning for retirement, she and her husband bought a country home with several acres of land for the grandchildren in a small city two hours away. Her dream was that one day they would build houses on the land She asked me to move there too so we could be neighbors. I agreed. I was very grateful that she had provided me with such a bright, fun and love filled future.

Leaving her new home to come into town, she was killed in a head on collision by a young man who veered into her lane at 60 mph. Because the family stays in touch with smart phones, her husband texted the news of her death and the information about her services. I have no need for a cell phone because I have no family to call, and I am primarily housebound.

I had sent her and her husband tickets to a concert, and when he got those, he realized I did not know she had died. He phoned me from her phone because that was where my number was stored, and, I thought it was she. Her funeral was over before I learned of her death. Her husband told me he thought I was not at her services because I was too distraught to come.

I had been emailing her at least twice a day, worrying one of the grandchildren might be sick. The country home will be sold, and her husband plans to move into an apartment near his job.

Right now I am in shock. I feel as if I am in a bad dream, and I will wake up soon.

Comments for Happy Retirement Plans

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Happy Retirement Plans
by: Sherry/Wilmington, NC

I believe in God and know that he has a plan for your life. Please have faith and pray. He hears all prayers and he will answer your prayers when the time is right. You only want his will.

I am a member of the Senior Center and those folks are the most loving people I have ever met in my life.

Take good care and stay strong!!!

Happy Retirement Plans
by: Betty Sodders/Archer Florida


I didn't get your name, but it doesn't matter. You know who you are. I'm glad you wrote your story here on this website. Welcome.

No Family. People say that family is the most important. But maybe not for everyone. Sometimes it's by choice. I'm sorry for the loss of a very important friend. I hope you find another friend that you'll love just as well.

LYME disease. You know what? I didn't know what that word meant until about one month ago. I received the news that my son has Lyme disease. By the time I heard about it, he had been to a Physician for treatment. His Doc told him he can cure him by him taking antibiotics for one year. I hope he's right.
I still don't know much about the disease but Since I learned he has it, I have read about others who have that dreadful disease. My son lives in Pa and I don't get to see him very often. I love him very much.

Feel free to write me back if you wish. I'll be thinking of you.


Very sorry for your loss
by: Donna Augusta, Mo

I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers. I wish I had words that could heal you but, I don't. I remember years ago when I lost my 30 year old older brother to death I didn't think I could go kn. I have faith and I know you do as well. Give yourself time. I also hope you can help your friends husband by keeping in touch with him. He too must be devastated.


So Very Sorry
by: Char / TX

I am so very sorry for the devastating loss of your dear friend. So sad that you were not notified or able to attend her funeral for closure.

I am sure just as you are feeling stunned and in shock over this news, her husband and family were deeply distraught and in a traumatic shock at such an unexpected and sudden death of their beloved Wife, Mother, Grandmother. I am sure her family did not mean to not inform you and are likely feeling very bad that they failed to contact you.

I am sure they were all in a fog and having great difficulty to even function as they dealt with arrangements and gathering their family together in deep grief.

I hope you will reach out and contact someone in your local area for comfort and help as you grieve the loss of your dear friend.

Most hospice centers have free grief counseling and it is very helpful to give you support as you come to terms with your loss. It is also a place where you can connect with others who like you are struggling to cope. If you are not able to get out at all, perhaps a counselor would call and talk with you a few times a week. You might ask if that is possible.

You mentioned you had connected with a Christian group on your limes network. If you have a church home, perhaps your Pastor or Clergy would be a source of comfort and would counsel with you or some of the women in your Church?

If you do not have a church home I would encourage you to call a Church of your faith and ask to speak to someone. I feel sure they will talk with you and pray with you, perhaps even in this you will connect with others who perhaps are also alone and need a friend in their life as much as you do.

Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and for the shattered dreams that has occurred.
I hope you will continue to seek other friends, new dreams and share on this blog often.

I do not know your name, but I know the one who does and I promise to pray for you.

Just keep your eyes on Jesus - He is there and He does care. He is always with you.

I would also like to suggest a wonderful book you might enjoy reading. It is a true story of a lady who under different circumstances became disabled and confined to a wheelchair. The book is one that is hard to put down once you begin reading it. I highly recommend it to all on the blog it is really a book that will touch you.

The book is "RUSH OF HEAVEN" By: Ema McKinley.

Keeping you in heart.

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