Ho-Hum

by Pat

Yes I retired at age 60, with recent loss of both parents, single, and no kids and moved from California to escape fires and evacuations.

It is a quiet and safe neighborhood but life got depressing and boring. Most people around here are 20 years older. Seems all they care about is their kids. I never liked kids.

It’s hard to find friends who care about God and the reality of things happening in real time, not their imaginary world.

I have one brother who cut himself off from my mother when she was alive, and now doesnt contact me either. Ive stopped emailing them too since he is ruled by a bossy wife. Sickening.

Just after I moved everything now revolves around a China virus and politics makes the world even more crappy and isolating. I keep hoping for normal to return.

Comments for Ho-Hum

Click here to add your own comments

I know how you feel.....!
by: Anonymous

Hi Ho Hum,

I am in a similar boat to you, in that I have no kids and am single, my mum is 91 and I have just got burnt out from caring for her in lockdown.

I have been back where I live for a few months now and everyone is in couples it seems and totally bound up in their children and grandchildren.

My brother is difficult too and ruled by his nice, but quite overbearing and bossy wife and they are obsessed with their children and I feel very marginalised by them and society in general.

I am starting some courses, which should be a good distraction, where I will meet new people and am enjoying volunteering at a food bank, where there are some really lovely young people.

There is a web site and community for childless women, by choice or not, called Gateway Women, which is very supportive in terms of understanding life with out children in a very pronatal world.

I haven't written in to retirement online before, but I think it is very helpful in identifying that it is not always easy to find a role in life after retirement and that leads to anxiety and depression.

I hope you find some routes out of the place you are in and stay positive if you can !!

Ho Hum
by: Someone from the Phils

Hi Ho-Hum hoping you find peace yourself, I have the same feelings here... single but, tried to be busy and find purpose life. Don't stop praying and thank GOD everyday. Be healthy & take care yoursel.

I see a college town in your future
by: Michael - Upstate NY for the summer!

Pat - I am in a similar situation. I retired at 51, and am now 55. Although married, I am one of the youngest in the community where I live.

I live in Florida during the winter months. Most of my neighbors are in their mid 70's+, more of my parents generation.

They have nothing to do but complain all day about the smallest of things. My suggestion to you would be to find an area where there are people around your age or younger.

I think a college town where you could take classes, visit museums, join a church, and interact with some forward-thinking people would be more to you liking.

And, do keep in touch with your brother. Send a card to him on his birthday and at the holidays. The wife may eventually go, but he will always be your brother no matter what happens.