How do you change

by No one
(Kentucky)

I have come to the acceptance of who I am and don't know what to do now.


All my life has been have to or must do. Now that it's gone I can' seem to muster the motivation to do anything.

I know the things I should do for myself, exercise and social but I just don't care. I feel so tired of trying and pushing to live, I feel done. I lost my house and live with my son and his family and can't seem to feel a part of too often.

I need a life but can't get going. I feel there are so many things about myself I need to change but get overwhelmed and just take a nap. I'm worried sometimes because I just want it to be over. I know if you focus on others you forget yourself but if you get going how do you do that?

I've always HAD to, guess never been a self starter or it's always been for someone else. I cared for my parents for the last 15 yrs , they are both gone now.

I don't know, I just don't know how to motivate or care enough to do anything. I could use some advise.

Wendy: Have you seen a doctor? If you are often sleeping, you might want to see one... thyroid? depression? who knows... but you need a little energy before you can find a life, right?

I think it will only get harder the longer you wait. Find out what's happening and feel better so you want to go out and find new friends, get busy again.

You have a LIFE to LIVE. Don't let it pass you by - and regret it later... Please give yourself a little kick in the A** (grin!) and get moving.

p.s. Next time you want to nap, make yourself go outdoors for a walk first -- breathe deeply, take in some bright sunshine warmth and happiness, get your body moving a little bit.

Comments for How do you change

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In the same boat
by: Anonymous

Is it possible to have a leisurely retirement?

I am not a hobby guy, not interested in volunteering.

Unfortunately I retired from something instead of to something. I regret retiring, but there are no do-overs.

Stay yourself
by: Helene

You cannot change your basic self - I think you know that and it is really what's troubling you - but I see that you are lost.

Look back & see what you tend to do & do well. In the past you have cared for others - so find opportunities to continue to do that by volunteering somewhere - be careful to find something to focus on, or you can get mental health problems down the road - you & you alone can control this - if you don't sleep well at night worrying, then see a Doctor about a recommendation for a counsellor that meets your financial needs.

Writing this note on Wendy's newsletter was a good beginning - just keep going.

Helene

please help your self
by: Anonymous

Please try to get yourself back on track , you sound so depressed, instead of wallowing in self pity please think about people who are so worse off than you ,think if you can be a volunteer helper, there are so many organisations who need help , you would open up a whole new world you meet lots of new people and do something worthwhile for others .

Please do not keep thinking negative you are making me feel so sad i wish i was where you are and i would certainly help you to get back on track and into society.

i know we dont know who you are but always remember there are people who care very very much even though we will never meet.

When i lost my husband very suddenly it was like "what the hell happened" but i picked myself up , joined differant clubs and voluntary run a club for adults with special needs, i try to keep myself busy all the time and so kick depression in the A,,,

Come on please please please get yourself moving ,if you feel thet you need medical help then seek it sooner than later .

I will be thinking about you and hoping in my heart for your quick recovery xxxx

Been there
by: Nancy

This reminds me of when I was in my 30s and lost my job and had to go home and live with my parents. I know every person's situation is different, but living with your family may be part of the problem. I was SO relieved when I got a job and got out of my parent's house.

Would it be possible for you to get an apartment on your own? Just a suggestion.

As I said getting advice from others to me, can be irritating, but that is just a suggestion and just my experience of what helped me.

I think Wendy is right, the doctor is a good place to start to see if there is something medically wrong. My family doctor prescribes my anti-depressants and she does a good job. I have issues with anxiety and the meds help.

I send you all kinds of support.

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