How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in Retirement
by John A
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars...watch 'em Slow Down!
2. On all your cheque stubs, write 'For Marijuana'!
3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
6. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7. When Leaving the Zoo, start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8. Tell Your Children over dinner: 'Due to the economy,we are going to have to let one of you go...
9.. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask whee the fitting room is.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: my favourite.
10. Go to a large Department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: “THERE IS NO PAPER IN HERE”!