How to Maintain a Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT

by John A
(Tyler, TX)

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

2. On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual Favors"

3. Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

4. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat. I ask for decaffeinated water. ( no ice )

5. Sing along at The Opera.

6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

8. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....'

9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favorite...

10. Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!"

Y'all have a good one!!!!

Comments for How to Maintain a Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT

Click here to add your own comments

by: Linda2


Thanks for the laughs!
by: Jayna

My husband I absolutely cracked up at your post!

Thanks for sharing!

Recent post
by: Irwin/Lakeland,FL

Love it. Great way to start the day. Laughing. Makes the day worthwhile cause now I am trying to come up with something funny to post tomorrow morning when I wake. Thanks for sharing!

Add more to your list
by: We-Zer

Just as the sun is ready to rise, go out on your front door step and cackle like a rooster (cock a doodle do) to wake your neighbors up.

Maintain healthy level of insanity!
by: Sherry/ NC

I love to laugh! Thank you!

My Thoughts
by: Anonymous

I love this

Click here to add your own comments

Return to John A's Posts.