Husband is Inactive

by Anne

My husband retired 11 years ago and at first, was pretty active with various hobbies and such. He is 73 and I'm 69.


Fast forward to present.. now he watches TV at least 16 hours a day and basically has no hobbies or desire to even begin a new one. He will go to the store when necessary and of course Dr appointments, and we occasionally go out to dinner, that's it. Oh, and he'll attend family functions.

I cannot, cannot understand how someone can sit around all day, every day with no desire to really do anything.

Unfortunately, he does have physical issues; however, they are not bad enough that would keep him from trying something new that he could do!

He has really changed a lot and is not the man I married 45 years ago. That said, financially, it would be difficult to part at this time in our lives so I try to keep as busy as I can with my activities and enjoy life!

It can be very difficult at times and it does bring me down.

Comments for Husband is Inactive

Click here to add your own comments

Re: Husband is Inactive
by: NY

Again, another woman bashing her husband for not being what she wants. God women cut the man some slack.

He is 73 and no one is the same as they were 45 years ago. I'm married 40 years to a woman who sleeps 10-12 hours a day when it should be our time to be together enjoying each other’s company.

Don’t expect your spouse to make your life happy. You have to do that for yourself.

Same Story Somewhat
by: Canadian Retiree

Yes, I can relate to the loneliness and disappointment you feel. My husband retired a couple of years before me, although he is younger than me he had enough years under his belt to do so.

I thought when I retired we would spend a lot of time together, maybe travel - of course Covid put a damper on that.

He had a heart attack when I was getting my cancer treatments. His health has really slowed him down, I understand completely but I sure miss the things we used to do. I even do most of the shopping alone.

The worst thing now is our house needing upgrades. It drives me crazy we can't get started on it mainly due to his health and now Covid.

All I can say is enjoy what time you can with your husband and look for interesting things you can do. I take water colour painting classes and exercise. I also play some piano.

All the best to you.

Husband Inactive
by: Mary Lou

Yes - Ditto . I just stay busy ALL the time - my personality. I take down time but I prefer to have projects going on. I work out 4 times weekly- and walk daily.

I can only be responsible for me - can't change him - so I just continue on - I Cook - I Bake - meet friends for Social Distancing Lunch- I'm usually at Peace with it- I've done a lot of Household Projects- sometimes I resent the lack of help and motivation- but if I go down that slippery slope - it can lead to Depression- and I don't want to go there - Choose Happiness!

My recommendation
by: Tom in Canada

Maybe try chatting with him about (I personally don't like the phrase but) his bucket list.

Is there anything he has always wanted to do or always wanted to see and possibly pursue it. You need to reinvigorate his passion and interest with a bucket list item or a new adventure.

Best of luck

I Hear You!
by: Karen

I too have a husband who pretty much watches tv all of the time. His idea of doing something exciting is eating out.

He does meet with past colleagues on occasion for breakfast or lunch, but that’s about it.

I know that I should just go about my life and DO things, but somehow I feel guilty. I don’t know why.

I really do believe that you are responsible for your own happiness. It looks as though you have decided to do just that.

Kudos to you!!

Inactive Husband
by: Sherry/ NC

Are you communicating with him? Communication is the key to success.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Marriage in Retirement.....