Husband Retired: Heading for nervous breakdown

by Anne, Rochester

I've been retired for over 10 years and have gotten used to having my days to myself.

My husband is newly retired and is making me nuts wanting to know where I'm going and how long I'll be gone, criticizing my housekeeping skills, and generally making me feel uneasy.

We've been married over 50 years so I'm pretty used to handling his idiosyncrasies, but I'm losing my patience. He's a really good guy and worked for the same place over 40 years so I know this is hard for him as it was tied to his identity.

I feel better just being able to write about this and will just pray for patience.

Comments for Husband Retired: Heading for nervous breakdown

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I get it
by: Tuxedo Cat

My husband is home all the time, I am retired from a job I loved teaching children with multiple handicaps, and I don't think he wants me around.

I am trying to distract myself with writing, adopting a new hobby, and trying to find volunteer work where I can cuddle babies who have no parents to do that also spend time playing with and cleaning cages for shelter animals. I feel that I have a lot of love to give.

He does not want me doing that, because I will have no time for him. Time for his criticising me, I guess.

Please take care of yourself, please find friends who would love to have your friendship and will support you. And it sounds like he is controlling you (or trying to) and disrespecting you.

I had a nervous breakdown in 2016, and it took quite a while to recover from it. Again, please take good care of yourself, love yourself. You are valuable. I will be praying for you.

BTW, I wish I could be friends with you, go out for coffee, support each other, do something fun. Once a week just get together. For now, know that I am praying for you. I think there are lots of us wives in the same situation.

Sending you God's love and happiness.

House to Yourself
by: D

I know what you mean "House to Yourself". My husband passed away 7 years ago and I retired 2 years ago.

Married for 40 years and miss him so.

Husband Retired: Heading for Nervous Breakdown
by: Pat/Delaware

I know what you mean. My significant other questions me also regarding where I am going and how long I will gone. He will even ask me what I had for lunch when I go out with lady friends.

I try to grin and not let it bother me so much.....hard to do sometimes though. He is in poor health and I have to remember that his time may be limited.

Hang in there.

exactly the same
by: Anonymous

I feel you for sure. Let me know the answer.

Mine even "drops by" where I am going. For example I walk the dog to a coffee shop. He will "drop by" on his way to golf, etc. Kind of nice, but I don't really feel "free".

Or he will want to know what walking route i am taking.

So I usually settle on just telling him the basic things I do: study french, walk dog to coffee shop, garden, read a book (I tell him what).

I keep a couple of things for myself (a favorite place to get a bite that he does not like). I have a little white lie to cover myself.

I like my freedom, PLEASE.

Husband Retired
by: Carol

If your husband could find some interests or hobbies of his own you both would be much happier. I think it is just a period of adjustment for you both. Try not to lose your patience.

House to yourself
by: Anonymous

I know ladies whose husbands have died and they are
very lonely. It's one thing to have your house to yourself and know your husband or partner is coming home at x
o'clock. It's quite another to know he is never coming home again.
Just smile, laugh and enjoy him. Don't react.

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