I feel Invisible. . . .

by Nancy
(Richmond, TX)

I hate to admit this... but in retirement I feel invisible. It's like I got off the Merry Go Round and everybody else is still on. I was tired of the "Merry Go Round" but now what???

Coming to a stop is disorientating for me. I have tired some things. . . but nothing feels right.

Spending time with my flowers and yard is still my best medicine, but it's more fun to share it with someone who loves them too. I haven't found that yet. My neighbors hire all their gardening and are never outside. I have someone to mow my yard.. but the enjoyment of planting a tree or flowers or bushes and watching everything grow is tremendous.

I love to feed, provide bird houses and feeders for the birds. It's just so neat to watch what is around us.

I know I need to keep trying to find that special friend, but it's just not as easy as it once was when I met people at work.

Comments for I feel Invisible. . . .

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Sharing what helped me cope
by: Ron/Los Angeles

I sympathize with your feelings. I too being out of the work force have to find ways to be social.

Just dropping in at a Starbucks between 8 and 9, I see a group of retired men shooting the breeze. I like talking to others complete strangers by just noticing what they have in common, if its a lady with her granddaughter, she's probably retired so I can start a conversation.

At my nearest Trader Joe's store, a group of men (and some women) meet between 9 and 9:30 to exchange news around the "free coffee"

I looked for help (mental health) from various sources. A helpful suggestion was to do three things that you know you will feel good about.

1. Even though its boring, I read three short books to my granddaughter.

2. I phoned a friend whose wife is going through a bad time health wise.

3. I dug a small patch and planted 3 pumpkin seeds just to watch it grow.
Thank you to all that offered support
by: Nancy Richmond TX

Thanks to everyone who read my post! All of you are sweet to take the time. I know I will have to get out of my "box" and do some things.

I have tried a couple and it wasn't successful and I got discouraged. I will pick myself up and move forward at baby steps!!

My other concern is my life changed a year and a half ago. My husband was diagnosed with a brain cyst (not cancer) and underwent surgery and a six month recovery in rehab. He is doing okay, but he isn't the same man I have been married to all these years.

He still teaches chemistry at the college ( he was a chemist at Dow for years). He doesn't have any ambition and can't seem to get any projects going. His short term memory gives him problems at times.

I am trying to deal with my retirement and a lose of belonging. I just need a friend that might understand. Everybody else says be thankful that he is alive. Of course I am, but I am mourning the lose of my best friend (him) because it changed his personality.

Whine, whine and whine. Sorry, everything is change and I'm trying to find my way through it.

Hugs to all., ., .Nancy
enjoy invisibility
by: Anonymous

Dear Invisible,

Now take advantage of this. You still vote, but don't feel you have to say why you vote in a particular way. If you are invisible you don't have to dress up. You can watch people without being watched. You are not obligated to do anything because you are a non=visible person. There are no expectations of accomplishments from a non visible person - just stay out of the way and allow the young people to take over. No responsibility if you are invisible.

Seriously, take advantage of it.
Find Other Things To Do
by: John A / Tyler, Tx

Enjoying your flowers in the garden is important and sharing that with another would be nice.

However, you may need to find other activities and venture out into new areas that will put you into contact with others. Working in the solitude of your garden may not provide the opportunity of sharing your enjoyment with others. Consequently, you may need to look elsewhere for friendship and companionship.

It is important to be around others doing different activities. And you never know what that might bring into your life. It may be someone who enjoys gardening and flowers as well while doing something else.
Retired in Feb. 2016
by: Sherry Wilmington, NC

I am eventually finding my way into retirement.
It is not easy. I try to stay busy and thus
I don't feel very lonely when busy. I have started a volunteer job and enjoy it!

I go to the senior center and exercise, stretching . I am meeting new people there. I do things
for my neighbors in my neighborhood. I know a lady here who is not happy being retired and she found a part-time job and seems to enjoy it.

I believe it takes courage to retire. You don't
know what to expect and I feel I am blind and trying to find my way. I am lonely and having
anxiety.

Good luck to everyone who is on this journey
of retirement.
Invisible
by: Hidge uk

I know exactly how you all feel. I have been retired for quite some time and it seems that all activity goes on around me but just passes me by.

I try to make conversations with people but some how or other it seems like I have arrived from another planet and people just do not want to bother to engage in conversation. I think that just brings on the feelings of inner loneliness and that people are just too busy with their own lives to be bothered.

There is all the health care out there trying to make people live longer, but the quality of life diminishes and it makes me wonder if it were better in the old days when people had shorter lives, but there was happiness around. Hey-ho, we all must keep going on as long as we can in the hope that there is a better life waiting for us where all our family and friends will be waiting for us.

Good luck to all the people who have written in.....
Retirement Blues
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel. Seems like everyone is still working and I'm not. Even 2 of my closest friends who were retired went back to work for the same reason. They felt out of contact.

I do plan to go to our local seniors center to see what's goin' on there. I do gardening, love doing 1000 piece puzzles, reading more and watching way too much TV!

I think the answer is to find others in your community and get involved. Good luck!
Gardening
by: \

I hope that both of you will look into finding the closest garden club in your area and get involved ASAP. You will find others that share your gardening interests and abilities there. They will be glad to have you.
I get it
by: Karin Michigan

I I'm left on the Merry-Go-Round also.

I don't have anyone to share my garden with either but I have started taking pictures of those beautiful roses and hibiscus and posting on Facebook. It's nice to get comments on how beautiful they are.

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