I Need Help

by Lisa missouri

My husband retired a year ago. I work from home & have a part-time job. I am very busy and I think he is jealous of me. He also worries about not having extra income. He has retired twice before.


How do I balance my work with his needs. He has started to become very critical of the job that I do from home & also badgers me to quit part-time job.

He gets sick if left alone too much but also complains about needing more money.

Also, I have been told I'm a poor housekeeper and I use the bathroom too often.

Comments for I Need Help

Click here to add your own comments

I need help
by: Jan/Idaho

Since he isn't happy about your housekeeping maybe he needs to take that over. As far as your using the bathroom too often, now he's just looking for things to complain about.

Needing Help
by: Elna Nugent

Dear Lisa.

Is there anything at all that you enjoy doing together?

Is there anything he does that you really respect?

Are you able to speak honestly to him about what
you are finding difficulty in this new phase of life.

Just once during the day-smile at him and tell him that you both need to set up a budget you can both deal with?

Just once tell him when he really looks nice.

Elna

Something jumped out
by: Nui/Vancouver

Your husband sounds depressed and insecure. That said, a couple of things jumped out. If he doesn’t like the way you do housework, tell him to do it. He’s sitting around doing nothing so he can’t say he has no time for it. That would result in one of two things: he will either be kept busy or he’ll shut up

As far as the bathroom there’s nothing you can do. On the plus side, his prostate will likely make him a lot more sympathetic As time goes on.

I would say get him interested in a hobby or get him out of the house as often as you can.

Another suggestion is to give up the part-time job and have regular play dates with him just to keep him happy.

I know that sounds like you’re treating him like like a toddler but that is how he is acting.

Good luck

Needy husband
by: Sherry/ NC

I am sorry you have to endure your husband's insecurities. Could I please suggest you encourage him to find a therapist so that he can have someone to talk to and offer sound advice.

If he is a reasonable person, maybe you could calmly speak with him about the problem he is having. Just ask questions because questions make a person think.

He sounds insecure and controlling and can get professional help with this problem.

Good luck to you and your husband.

Happy Complainers
by: Jane/Texas

Some people are not happy unless they are complaining about something. This may be the case with your husband. Also let me say that no one can hurt you with a complaint unless you think it might be true.

It is up to you to make you happy. You are not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own. It sounds selfish but it is not. If it makes you happy to make someone else happy... then do it. Happiness is a choice. You really must make a decision if you see something as a good thing or a bad thing.

If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me. Ten two letter words that say it all.

If you husband wants to have more money...let him go do it. His happiness is his responsibility. If he enjoys complaining he will always find something to complain about.

What you accept is the only thing you have to deal with. Everything else can be ignored. If one complaint has merit... work on that one.

You feel you are doing what you can for your future. Then that is what counts. What you think about yourself .... you are the one who lives with you 24-7.

I wish you well. If your husband enjoys complaining... let him. It is your way of making him happy. You might let him know that too. LOL.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Marriage in Retirement.....