I want my husband to work PT in order for us to have extras is that being selfish

by Diane
(West Frankfort, IL)

My husband retired 6 months ago which is great.

I would like him to take a job in order for us to take vacations, get out of debt earlier.

I work PT. Am I being selfish?

Comments for I want my husband to work PT in order for us to have extras is that being selfish

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Part time
by: Wee Zer

Personally, I think you should have paid off your debt before anyone retired. If that wasn't possible, then maybe selling your house, paying off debts and finding an affordable place to live debt free.

Debts should be eliminated before any vacations are considered.

Maybe your husband is burned out and the thought of even working part time is not desirable to him at this point since he is newly retired.

What I would do is put together a list of your debts, expenses and income. Show him the reality of what is going on. Maybe if the goal was to pay off the debt then stop working part time he might be for it. Vacations are fun but expensive.

Maybe he might consider seasonal work that lasts 8-12 weeks a year to save for vacations.

Asking for what you want...but
by: Dave - Minnesota

Hi Diane. In a relationship I believe people should "ask for what they want". This works on most things and is more effective and respectful than demanding, manipulating, arguing.

The "but" is that you should accept the person's answer. Respectfully ask your partner for something, with some explanation of your rationale if necessary.

Ideally your partner will listen, try out your request with an open mind, and answer. You may not like the answer, or you may be disappointed, but this approach increases the likelihood of success.

If the answer is no, perhaps you can transform the discussion into problem-solving. Your partner may have other ideas that help with the problem, and now you are working the problem together.

by: Tim C / So Cal

I don't think you're being selfish if you want him to get a job so both of you can have a more secure retirement.

I'm still in the "just want to take it easy for a while" phase but I know I'll be looking for something to earn a little extra cash within the next few months.

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