Is this it?
(West Chester PA)
Retired Dec 2011. Went on cruises, babysat grandkids, went to the gym. Have to watch $$$ so no more cruises, grandkids started schools or moved away. Now covid, no gym. No day trips, no nothing. Bored.
House is a mess, I live alone. Body is aching, stiff. Not exercising. Today, I got out of bed at 2:30pm.
Downward spiral. Is this all to life? Groundhog day? Barely want to do anything including talking with friends on zoom or the phone.
Politics bother me. What has happened to my country that democracy is being overpowered for dictatorship antics? I vote, that is what I can and did do, now I have to wait for Nov 3rd or beyond for the results.
What do people in my age range, 77, do to have purpose to their lives? There is only so much tv, so much knitting, crocheting, gardening, etc before it becomes meaningless. Phone calls, for what purpose - we aren't meeting up to go on a day trip. My friends are getting sick, entering hospitals, they aren't available for day trips.
I have an Etsy shop, never very successful but something to do. Sell soft stress relief balls, isn't that ironic!
When I worked it was engaging work with professors and graduate students. Before that Head of a Children's dept in a public library. Loved the children, the parents, caretakers. Love planning and holding children's programs. Pay and benefits were better at the university which is why I changed libraries. But back to today. It is blank, dreary, and every day I awake to the same messy house from the day before.
I don't have a dog because I walk so slow that it would soil it's self before I could get it outside. I can't safely bend over to clean up the mess. Only have a large goldfish which has lasted for 8 years! so, a messy house, overwhelming regrets over the path not explored when young, inertia, staring at nothing.