Is this it?

by Carol
(West Chester PA)

Retired Dec 2011. Went on cruises, babysat grandkids, went to the gym. Have to watch $$$ so no more cruises, grandkids started schools or moved away. Now covid, no gym. No day trips, no nothing. Bored.

House is a mess, I live alone. Body is aching, stiff. Not exercising. Today, I got out of bed at 2:30pm.

Downward spiral. Is this all to life? Groundhog day? Barely want to do anything including talking with friends on zoom or the phone.

Politics bother me. What has happened to my country that democracy is being overpowered for dictatorship antics? I vote, that is what I can and did do, now I have to wait for Nov 3rd or beyond for the results.

What do people in my age range, 77, do to have purpose to their lives? There is only so much tv, so much knitting, crocheting, gardening, etc before it becomes meaningless. Phone calls, for what purpose - we aren't meeting up to go on a day trip. My friends are getting sick, entering hospitals, they aren't available for day trips.

I have an Etsy shop, never very successful but something to do. Sell soft stress relief balls, isn't that ironic!

When I worked it was engaging work with professors and graduate students. Before that Head of a Children's dept in a public library. Loved the children, the parents, caretakers. Love planning and holding children's programs. Pay and benefits were better at the university which is why I changed libraries. But back to today. It is blank, dreary, and every day I awake to the same messy house from the day before.

I don't have a dog because I walk so slow that it would soil it's self before I could get it outside. I can't safely bend over to clean up the mess. Only have a large goldfish which has lasted for 8 years! so, a messy house, overwhelming regrets over the path not explored when young, inertia, staring at nothing.

Comments for Is this it?

Click here to add your own comments

Every day is a gift
by: Anonymous

I love all the responses here. You are not alone. Reaching out to others enriches life. You have so much to give and you should share your love and knowledge to make the world (and your part in it) better. Open up you heart and mind to see how you can connect.

A challenge
by: Robert/Illinois

Take a few minutes to read "Psalm of Life" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

You need to get outside your own perceptions and stop all your negative self talk.

Joyful thoughts attract joy. Go for a slow walk outside. Reread a favorite book. Research the web for retirement information. I'm reading "How to retire happy, wild and free" by Ernie Zelinski. Page 82 of tbe book has a Get a Life tree that's very thought-provoking and now I have tons of options to keep active.

I challenge you to buy the book and get off your butt.

With love....Robert

I understand ...
by: Cathy

I felt such empathy when reading your post. Things that once worked no longer do, and it's hard to find replacements. That's the hard part of aging.

My first thought was would you consider adopting a cat? So many of them in need of loving homes, and you also are in need of love, of connecting. It could be a win-win situation. And cats are so much easier to take care of than dogs.

While gyms are closed, even though you are stiff and achy, can you try a daily ritual of getting outside for even a small walk. The air and the exercise will be good for you physically and emotionally.

As far as your house being messy...I can tell it bothers you because you mentioned it a couple of times. Try tackling one area in your place and organize it because I think the orderliness will really make you feel in charge again and you want your surroundings to be pleasant.

Know you are not alone and see if you can make any small change to lift your spirits.

Well heck!
by: Anonymous

Depression comes in all forms. Seems like you have nothing to do that is uplifting to you personally.

People can tell you and suggest to you a multitude of things to do to up lift but what works for one does not work for another.

I retired 6 years ago and have had my ups and downs. Now each day I try to find something engaging to do even if it is trying a new and complicated recipe then sharing my good or bad creation with someone.

Formerly had a dog but too much maintenance. Now I have this lovely kitty that followed me home and she is an inside/outside cat and takes care of her own needs. I just feed and pet her. Good company.

My daughter bought me a Kindle and I read read read and love it. I dig in the dirt planting whatever takes my fancy. Love growing herbs since they are easy, you can use in recipes and grow inside and out.

Covid put a damper on my church attendance and visiting family and friends but this too will rectify itself.

Go get a new and different hair cut/style, update your makeup and just see how much better you will feel.

And for goodness sake, get out of bed, get dressed and see all that your surroundings have to offer.

Betcha there is a senior bus that will pick you up and take you to their center(wear a mask) to have lunch or play cards or just visit.

Good luck and remember we only go around once unless you believe in reincarnation. On that subject, i am not so sure!

This isnt it
by: Lynn Luck Western Australia

Just a looking at these posts shows you, you are not alone.

Your project Is to find a way forward and to keep a journal so you can pass on what you learned .

Your messy house is overwhelming you. can you work on One area at a time?

I find great company in the UK BBC Radio iplayer an app on my phone accessble on computer too . Lots of stations the best of which is Radio 4 extra. I love listening while doing chores .
Get near plants . Pot plants or a park .
Meditate . Just 10 mins a day makes all the difference . Smiling Mind an excellent app . Lots on the internet too.

Do anything that puts you In touch with people . Dont expect too much of them or yourself .

If not a dog maybe a cat. Can be a comfort .

All the best in this new phase of life . It is not easy but it is possible .

Is This It Reply
by: Carol, Canada

I took up a little hobby on my phone. It's paint by number. I do it for hours and hours, you get addicted. Really filled a void for me.

Every time I feel anxiety, stress or boredom I colour a few pictures (or a lot). It provides hours of endless fun. My sister got addicted as well and also my daughter, granddaughter and a few friends. I've been better since I've been doing that. Every day they send new pictures, have contests, it's endless fun. I have been doing it for almost a year and haven't gotten tired of it yet.

I have a dog who used to walk 2 hours a day. He is now getting old like me and only walks an hour. And since gyms are closed, my husband now wants to walk the dog instead. He goes early, before I'm ready so I just sit here wondering what to do. Not a lot of motivation anymore.

I do a lot of little things for pleasure, crosswords, reading, my colouring, playing on the computer. Things like that.

This is it only if you choose for it to be
by: Patricia Murphy-SW Michigan

Can't imagine being bored. And I'm betting if you got yourself up and moving - even a little at a time - you'd be feeling better, in less pain, and be more flexible.

Do you read? Libraries are now open. You can go online and put books on hold, pick 'em up when they are available.

Do you craft? Sew? Knit? Crochet? Create greeting cards? You can do any of that and donate the results if you want to.

Why is your house a mess? I'm 80, dear. And I've found that on my down days, if I get up, get myself moving and do something constructive those bad days turn good. So what if it takes you all day to do a room? Part of a room? By the end of the day you've accomplished that much. It's great!

Just stop feeling sorry for what you can't do and learn to like what you can do.

That is the secret to inner joy.

sorry to hear
by: Anonymous

My answer to everything for myself is music and books and help sick friends (call that your day trips).

At least one thing to do
by: Same here sort of

I share a lot of your feelings so I can't offer much encouragement. Personally, I spend a lot of time and energy on telling myself that it could be worse, others have it way worse so I should "buck up"!

Regarding politics, I feel the same, and here is something I did and maybe you can too: write letters for VoteForward.org . It is to encourage people to vote! Not telling them to vote a certain way, just to exercise their right to vote!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!

My best to you, your job sounded great, don't give up now!