Isn't what it's supposed to be - UGH

by Nancy
(USA)

My story was a horrible end to 2016. I'm now 65 and he is 67.

First my hubby had to have open heart surgery the beginning of January. We got through that.

One evening after dinner, I told my hubby that I was going to use the bathroom. About 20 minutes later, he found me passed out on the bathroom floor. He called 911 and had them take me to a Buffalo hospital. I was passed out the entire time. It ended up that it was a ruptured aneurysm in the brain. I was unconscious for the next 2 weeks in IC. I was then transferred to a rehab center for a month to recover.

During that time, I was getting speech/memory, physical therapy and occupational therapy. I was surprised to learn that out of 50 people, one of them has an aneurysm and don't know it.

My short term memory isn't good, I can't walk confidently any distance - once in a while, a leg can just suddenly give out.

So at this point, I thought it might be time to retire. My job required some walking/stairs that that I cannot do right now. I came home and had physical, speech/memory and nurses coming to the house for a month.

I am now function fairly well, tire easily, no walking/climbing stairs. It was time to go although I hated the idea because I loved the job. Since coming home, I still tire easily (nap during the day) and headaches have been a problem the last few weeks.

I so miss the job (it was only 4 hours a day and fantastic bosses and fantastic pay. My husband thinks I should stay retired and we start a new life and enjoy ourselves. Granted, winter isn't a good time to retire- too boring.

We have a fifth wheel where we could travel now. I feel like an 18 year old trying to figure out what to do with our lives. It all came so suddenly and we feel lost. Way too big of a house and yard - we should make a move there and downsize - too much work.

There is the option of going back to work 20 hours as before of whatever I can put in. But who knows how long we can travel?

I know I'm going to check out volunteer opportunities - just go get out and be around people.

Didn't envision all of these things would happen - be grateful for each normal day.

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hang in there
by: Rose Raintree

Nancy I am so sorry you and your husband have had a rough couple of years. However, you both are blessed to have come through this and still be here. Did you know that a large majority of Aneurysm, are fatal due to the large bleeding and damage were done, especially brain ones?

Short term memory may be an issue from now on. The wife of a boss I had many years ago had one and she tried to go back to work after a year of recovery and her short term memory just prevented her from functioning well and she finally came to decide it best she retire.

I tend to agree with your husband this is perhaps an opportunity for you both to have some fun and with that RV do some traveling. I retired at 69 from a career I loved as well and yet knew due to some health changes I was having increasing difficulty doing my job. And I always said I wanted to retire on my terms not have to be asked to retire.

The first year was an adjustment, I am now retired 5 years and up until some health issues that have kept me down most of the last six months I have learned to enjoy this time and especially the opportunity it gave me to spend a great deal of time with my granddaughter before she went to school and developed a strong bond with her and have done things together that will give her lasting precious memories after I am gone.

My mother died in 2005 from bladder cancers, and this is always a concern for me as well. I have been blessed to be pretty healthy until about 6 months ago when I fell coming in off of my icy deck and broke vertebrae in my back and right wrist causing my arthritis and DJD to worsen.

Before retirement over an 8 year period I had two total knee replacements and two total shoulder replacements and until this happened have done well, in fact, me and my little dog walked about 3 miles a day. Then blood showed up in my stool and urine about 2 weeks ago and my doctor sent me for a cat scan and I have a cyst in my right kidney, so see a urologist on Friday and praying this is not cancer. Up until 6 months ago and turning 73 this past February I was active and healthy for the most part and then bam this occurred.

So we never know when things will change so I would encourage you to consider downsizing to something you both can manage, I did 6 months before I retired and now even this at times is too much as I have a large yard and cut the grass myself and up until recently did a great deal in my yard. I hope if this gets treated and regain my strength I can manage for a bit longer, but I see in the not too distant future perhaps a move to an apartment.

I wish you continued recovery and good healthy so you and your husband can take this time and make some trips and good memories for those days when health issues will prevent them. I so wanted to travel but financially I couldn't afford it after I retired so if you have the opportunity and desire go for it and enjoy each day our good Lord gives us to the best of your ability and forget about working if you can.

Not what it's supposed to be
by: Elna Nugent, MA

Dear Nancy:

Every day, you are getting a little better and learning a little more.

The hardest thing to learn in this life is trust and patience --but try to treasure it because it will teach you important lessons you couldn't have learned any other way.

You and your husband are adapting to a new way of living that is going to get a little better every day. Downsizing could help if you take one step at a time.

In years to come you will look back and be a little in awe of what you have learned and what forced you to change.Even now you may realize you have a strength in you that you haven't been in touch with. Every day give thanks for at least one thing, no matter how small, and watch what eventually will happen.

We are "with you"applauding you both along the way. Blessings.





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