It's like Living inside a box...
by Fred Goraieb
I once described this post-retirement depression as living inside a box with my hands tied and unable to move or breathe...the depression hit me hard and fast and felt like nothing i have ever experienced before.
I had experienced episodes of depression before (usually after a move or a relationship break-up), but this new monster was different. All hell broke loose and i did not know if i was going to make it.
I went to a therapist, a good one, who did not prescribed medications (thank God), and instead decided to "walk me through" the despondency and anxiety i was experiencing with no end in sight. He said, the only cure for this particular issue is time. There are no short cuts, and the medications, while appropriate in some cases, was not advisable--and he is a medical doctor.
Instead, i decided to bite the bullet and go through the pain minute by minute, day by day...the pain at times in excruciating, but thankfully, as my new friend the psychiatrist predicted, the pain began to dicipate on its own.
It has been almost six months now since the worst episode (i wanted to end my life). Now, although i still grapple with the depression, at least i feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am still young enough to start another career, but would rather take this opportunity to re-explore some of my old passions, like painting and acting in theater.
And, telling myself that this time is like childhood, in some way, because back then, i had no job and did not live independently of my parents. I was free to play. i want to get back, mentally, to that time when everything was possible, and with the help of my higher power, afchieve some modicum of happiness in this time of great anxiety, and also great hope...
Wendy: So happy that you are going back to find where your real passions lie - not simply keeping busy at just anything. Sounds like a great retirement is in store for you, Do the work now, Enjoy life again - SOON!