Just Like I Was (not living any more)
I was in the same boat as "I'm not living anymore", only add to the fact that my husband had a late life affair (with an older woman!) and just walked out of my life.
I sobbed and couldn't get out of bed for days on end. I stopped eating and lost 65 lbs. Finally I decided enough was enough. It's my time now. Here's what I did:
1. Got a GREAT therapist that sees me every week. If you cannot afford one, go to your church and see if they have a Stephan Ministry program. These people are Christians who are trained to lead you to spiritual healing.
2. Get active in your church. Go every Sunday and then give yourself a reward.
3. I have 2 beagles who love me unconditionally and I HAVE to get out of bed to feed and walk them daily. Yes, sometimes I go right back to bed after their walk but more and more I'm not. And when I go to bed they are there with me, warm, loving. When I have a bad day they lay their heads on my chest and let me cry. In fact, sometimes they cry with me because they feel my pain.
4. I suffer from a mood disorder too but it seemed my medication stopped working. I went back to my psychiatrist and she changed meds. This has been hard because it takes time and trial and error to find out which med works for your system.
5. If you're not sleeping don't hesitate to ask for a sleep aid. There are nonaddictive ones your psych can recommend or at least there is ZZquill.
6. I went back to school. It's online so I don't have to worry about leaving home. I'm training to be an autism behavior therapist. But you can be an autism service provider easily. The company will train you. In my area there is a desperate need for service providers of all kinds to work with autistic people. Pay is low but helping others is a good way to put your problems in perspective.
7. My big mistake was running out and joining an online dating service. I wanted to feel validated. I would advise against it. You have to be able to validate yourself first before you can be ready to validate another individual.
I am merely sharing my experience with you. Pick and choose what you think will help. It's not easy to pick yourself up and move on but it's worth the work. BTW, I'm 64.