Lessons Learned Later in Life

by Sandy

I was an HR Manager for 36 years at a major corporation and always felt like my job was to help the employee, not the company.

But for the last 10 years of my job, as part of my job, I had to lay off employees. Each time, I would find myself feeling anxiety, but knowing that it was "part of my job".

I was a company person, working 60+ hours per week, calling in on vacation, not taking all my vacation and giving my life to the company.

The term "psychological contract" always resonated with me - to me, it meant that we gave our all to the company and should be paid back with a good job and fair treatment.

In my heart, I know that was foolish, but somehow when you are in the midst of it, you fool yourself into thinking that for reasons of self worth, security, whatever....Anyway, your company violated your psychological contract with you - it's like being cheated on.

So....what do we do. As my therapist says, "you only have now". We have to lick our wounds, find ourselves and most of all forgive ourselves for giving too much of ourselves.

I am sure you missed family events, narrowed your group of friends and gave up life experiences so you could be successful in your job. I know I did that. but we can never get that time back.

But we can make sure that we don't let that experience rob us of today - that's all we have.

Find the things that bring you joy and use your spirituality and personal insights to learn from the experience. I do think of this part of life as a journey...some of us have to work at finding joy and forgiving the past. But it is work we have to do.

I wish you the very best and want you to know that I send you blessings and virtual hugs.

Given I can't figure out how to share my email on this site (sorry, Wendy - I need remedial training - LOL), feel free to connect with me on the retirement site. I'd be glad to email and share journeys.

Comments for Lessons Learned Later in Life

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by: Bonita/ Huntsville

Hang in there, it is a process. I am taking wise advice and try really hard to treat myself kindly. You can make it.

Good thoughts Sandy
by: Larry / South Carolina

Hi Sandy,

I liked your comments especially in terms of taking control and finding something you enjoy. It made me curious to learn what you are planning to get involved in next.

As a HR professional, you have much to offer I'm sure in many different ways. For example, helping others reaching retirement find a path that leads them to satisfying work doing something they love. Of course that is what Wendy is all about but there are so many seniors in this world now discovering being retired these days is a big challenge for many and the more supporting hands there are reaching out to help them the better.


Welcome to retirement
by: William Burch

Share your pain, and probably some of your joy about retirement. Was glad to leave the workforce that had become far too stressful. Blending into retirement is much better with a new pursuit - mine being observing life and writing about it.

Kindred Spirit
by: Sandy

Wendy, I did not realize you were a kindred spirit, having been a previous HR Manager. It makes sense now that you started this site as I believe a good HR Manager is always trying to help others, which is what you do. You are making a difference in so many lives with this site.

And we both learned some very important life lessons that we can pass on to others so they don't learn them the hard way.

Many blessings!

Lessons Learned...
by: Wendy


Your story could totally be mine... as I read your words, it's all about me. 36 year HR employee, devoted to work, family pushed aside...

I had to post it on it's own page to assure its not lost to others... this has happened to many.

As for emails, I used to post them, many got spammers following them, offering love and icky emails. Done.

Join the retirement community if you want to connect with someone there, privately.

Thanks for sharing!

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