Lonely, frustrated, and in pain
My husband and I are both retired. Seven years ago we built a house on 77 acres of wooded land in the middle of nowhere which is my husband’s hometown (population 2,500). At the time it was appealing.
However, my main concern was access to medical care – an hour away to any specialists. Before we could move I developed serious healthcare issues and now suffer chronic pain.
It’s a beautiful home. We built what we had dreamed of. But I grew up in the city, and have lived all my life in the city, and had no idea what it would feel like being stuck on that hill. I don’t know what I was thinking.
You can’t see a neighbor. There are no meadows or fields. Just dark woods everywhere. The house sounds hollow and empty and I’m interested in finishing it up, or decorating. So please don’t suggest it. I don’t like it and I stopped going. But my husband goes every month and stays for 10 days.
You can’t live in two places, at least I can’t. If you have houseplants or pets, or you just don’t manage constant change – it doesn’t work.
The house and his absence have become extreme points of contention. He’s on his way back right now. I feel stressed. We have a good marriage, solid and loving. But retirement, the house, and my chronic pain (six years now) have put huge strains on us. We are seeing a counselor.
I would welcome ANY kind of views. When my pain came I lost interest in living. So I can easily identify with some of the articles I’ve read on here – people struggling with emptiness and loneliness. Not prepared for what retirement would bring. No one did mention healthcare issues though. Or a house in the country that they no longer want. A partially absentee husband. HELP!
I NEED HELP! HELP! Lonely, frustrated, and in pain.