by Ayse Gozay
(Colorado Spings, CO)

I retired in 1997 at the age of 61 as I got married to my soul mate whom I met in Shanghai during a travel. He had a store in Monterey, California and imported high-end Chinese antiques.

I lived in Santa Clara, CA moved to Monterey, CA.

He sold his store and retired in 2002. Moved to a condo in Coconut Grove, CA.

My income from real estate investments and his we were very comfortable. Our condo was on a little island We travelled worldwide. All my dreams had come true.

In 2007 my husband and I lost our real estate investments as most people did.

In 2008 my husband died of lung cancer. I battled very ugly battles with my step children which wounded me and emotionally drained me.

I donated all of house furnishings to Mission Rescue. I now live in Colorado Springs with my older daughter.

I experience loneliness ever day which causes anxiety. I am stuck with the past and resist to accept the present which causes depression, I love to hear from you.

Comments for Lonely

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to lonely
by: Betty Schuldt

I am so sorry to hear about the struggles that you have been going through. As I read through your post I thought of a book that I recently read titled, "Rich in Years" by Johann Christoph Arnold http://www.richinyears.com. The book is full of stories of real people who have overcome loneliness. Thought I would share. Good luck to you!

Ways of becoming un-lonely
by: Lynn

Hi Alyse,

Do you have a dog or cat? Dogs especially thereally friendly ones like golden retrievers, poodles,cavaliers, labradors, are wonderful companions. they love you more than you can imagine.

Also when you walk your dog and go to a dog park you meet other people and it's a wonderful way to make new friends.

Also of course find something that gives you great enjoyment, craft work, music, study,politics, whatever you are interested in.

Good luck on your new journey...remember,...YOU are still alive, enjoy that, it will keep you healthy.

Ayse, you are fantastic
by: Ashfaq Gulzar

It real touched my heart and soul to learn about the developments about you. Very sad, your husband is now not with you, sad you lost the companion of your life.

I being 64, honestly feel the real time of the life is your old age, where you always require the companion. It had also made me sad to learn about your losses.

I still suggest you please be a contented one, but make your approach about life more positive, more welcoming to the every day of the life. Please be more positive and live the life more happily.

Live happy day and life.

Ashfaq Gulzar, Lahore, Punjab, Pakistan

To my neighbor
by: Anonymous

Dear Ayse,
I live just south of you in the Alamosa area.
I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, just lost my husband this past Sept. and it is truly a
hard journey. You have been through so many changes, may God bless you and hold you close.

Losing a loved one
by: Nina from London

Dear Ayse,

Everyone is different when they lose the one they love. I lost my husband 8 years ago which devastated me.

With help from friends, family and a wonderful charity called Mosaic Club (part of International Clubhouse) I was able to recover from depression. Talking to someone can also make a difference. I had lots of counseling which also helped.

By starting to get involved and doing volunteer work I filled my days with things I enjoyed. It starts with that first thought...I don't want to be on the dark side of the road...but I'll go to the bright side. Hope that you can begin your journey to happiness.

Best Wishes, Nina

Reply to "Lonely"
by: Nancy

Ayse, you have had a lot of upsets over the past decade. One thing that has helped me has been this website and reading stories of other people who have had struggles. I am sorry you lost your husband, I can only imagine how hard that must me. Thank you for sharing.

by: Diana Maddock

Ayse, You have had some difficult times that is true. We all have. We also have the ability to live with the choices we make. Right now, you choose to live in depression. You have a daughter. I have no children..All of my family is gone.

Please go to my post on this website and read it: Tragedy into a dream come true. It is my story and is very real and true.

There is hope for your future. You just have to decide that you will not spend the rest of your life living depression and self-pity. You can do it!

Best wishes!

be happy
by: Anonymous

Be happy, why not, life is short !

greetings , henk , perhaps I can support you !
henko100 at outlook.com

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