Loss of Purpose
I have no idea why I'm still on the planet. I always had a goal. I had two careers and all the education that goes with that.
Although I wasn't really fulfilled, I held the top position at my last employer for the past 20 years. Then I experienced being pushed into retirement due to age. I couldn't bear the humiliation so I retired.
Now I wonder why I'm still here. I try to focus on others less fortunate- church, ESL volunteering and some hobbies-horseback riding, book clubs etc. but I feel like I'm just marking time. My heart isn't in a lot of it.
My friends tell me it's a process but it's been a year and a half now and I still don't feel a groove. I would love to travel and explore more but I only have so much money. My husband is content with his gardening and church activities but I seem to want/need more stimulation to keep from getting depressed.