Loss of Relationship
I was in a 30 year marriage with a decent, hard-working man who drank too much and was happy to stay home and work on our house and property in the country - all of the time.
He was satisfied being an introvert and it was like pulling teeth to even get him to go out to eat, forget about vacations. Anywhere I went, I had to go on my own.
As our daughters left home, I knew I couldn't spend the rest of my life that way. I left my husband and found someone who I thought was my soulmate.
He loved to be out there in the world, experiencing new places and things as I did. We had such fun together and clicked in so many ways. Unfortunately, he lived 100 miles away and we were both still working on jobs we could not leave. I also had the care of my elderly mother and my granddaughter.
My boyfriend resented this and held it against me. I guess he wanted me to move to him however I did not want to disrupt my mother and my granddaughter's schooling not to mention my job. We still saw each other every weekend and talked every day but things changed for him over time, not for me.
Fast forward ten years and my mom had passed to heaven and my granddaughter was on her own. I was now free to move to my love however things had changed. He no longer wanted a relationship, other than "friends." His family told me it was not because of anyone else but because he was bitter about waiting so long and feeling cheated out of that time we could have had together. I attempted the "friends" thing but I was frustrated and unhappy and now I've cut off all contact over a year and a half ago.
Sadly, I still miss the companionship and fun we once had. Now that I'm retired, the sadness of not having a significant other is worse.
I have female friends and enjoy some activities and travel occasionally but it's not the same as having someone you love in your life. I also realize that it's much more difficult to find love again the older one gets. Never thought I'd be alone in my retirement.