Marriage -Divorce - Death - Family

by Betty
(Archer Florida)

I'm the first of 9 children. I have been married twice but during my younger years. I'm 81 now.

It's my first marriage/divorce that tormented me the rest of my life. I had 2 children of whom I chose to have and love very much. Life after the first separation (1960)was a nightmare divorce (1967). And with no moral support from family. That hurt almost more than anything else.

My ex lived in another state but took my older son from a special needs facility near me where I visited him often. He/his family made up lies when I visited my son and later urged my daughter to live with him.

I wrote my life story to include family history. I joined writers groups for help. I also took a two year writers course, I have my certificate.

In June of 2018, I sent a copy of my book to 10 family members including my daughter/granddaughters/four brothers. Three of them have responded with great reviews. 2 said they cried and felt remorse that I didn't get the support I needed. The daughters/granddaughters of whom we had been talking for about a year, hasn't spoke to me since I gave them the book.

I had hoped they would be willing to handle my end of life issues. The brothers are out of the question. So now no one has my back. My parents are deceased.

I have been reading your stories here on the Retirement site for a long time. I hope you have found some happiness here.

Comments for Marriage -Divorce - Death - Family

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by: Gail/California

It is far too easy for us to interpret another’s response, or lack of it, from our own place and time in life.

In reality, we can never really know what another person is dealing with, what they are thinking, what emotions they are working through.

In fact, you cant know for certain whether they even read the book.

It is wonderful that you now have the skill of writing. Perhaps continuing to use it to journal may help you move beyond the hurt of what you feel is unresolved conflict.

by: Susan/TN

You wrote your book to give yourself peace of mind. To tell your side of the story. There's always 2 sides.

You did get 3 family members to answer you and obviously the book made a difference to them. Perhaps the others haven't responded because they didn't want to know your side, which I'm very sad for them. Perhaps they realize after reading your story all that they thought was truth and reality, has now become a delusion/lie. They just don't know how to respond to you, so won't.

Whatever the reasons for their silence, you did your best. I can't say forget them because you can't, they're still family and part of your life. But be proud of what you did and let life take it's course.

Selfish people
by: Mary Florida

People today whether family or not have become more selfish and "me" centered.

It's easy for me to say forget those who did not respond or don't speak to you. But you did your best and hopefully you got it all out in writing your book.

Enjoy what's left of your life and try to be at peace. It's their loss more than yours.

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