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Meaninglessness Golden Years

by Anonymous

I've been retired for several years now. Live on a small pension and my social security benefit. Not enough money to travel, though I'd like to see the world.

Am intelligent, educated, a reader, capable of doing all kinds of once-interesting things to keep busy, but since I am long divorced, no children, the family is very far away and the very small town I live in is not at all compatible to my interests, being isolated and lonely.

Kept busy for a few years after retiring but the lack of meaningful social interaction weighs heavily on me. Because there are no true friends nearby to share my thought with, and I'm no longer vital to any social matrix, often feel that old age is simply dying before you're dead!

Have read that this sort of thing is not uncommon among the elderly such as myself. Golden Years-hah!

Comments for Meaninglessness Golden Years

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Move back to family and friends
by: Tracy

Experiencing the same exact situation. I had to retire since husband's job took us out of the area I grew up in. Moved away from close friends and family JUST as I was retiring! The minute my husband retires from this job we are definitely moving back. Friends and family are everything.

In the meantime, joined a health club and met a friend. Go to $5 Tuesday movies. Went to a couple Meet Ups and joined a local political group to attend meetings. Will try to make the best of it until we move back in about 3-4 years.
Golden years
by: Anonymous

I heard this the other day. The Golden years are when you give all your gold to Doctors, drug stores,etc.
Making new friends
by: Yvonne/ Bella Vista, AR

Since I recently moved to a new community, I found an app called "Meet-up". You can scroll through the multitude of ideas and pick something that piques your interest.

I recently attended a dinner and met some very interesting people, tried a new restaurant and had a great time. There are book groups, sewing groups, food groups, horse groups, bikers, kayakers , fishermen!

Be willing to try something new. If you have a library, check to see if they have activities and events scheduled.
Golden years
by: Hidge

I know exactly what you mean. I suppose compared to you I am lucky because I still have my husband. We are both in our middle eighty's and all we seem to do is drag ourselves around the house wondering what to do next.

Fortunately (or maybe not so !) we still have our minds intact although our bodies have slowed down so have difficulty in getting out and about with any stimulating people. They are very hard to find and mostly do not want to be bothered with retired people.

It is a long time since I have had a really decent stimulating conversation with anyone outside. It is so sad that our lives come to a full stop with nowhere to go. I sometimes feel I am like a cork bobbing about on the ocean with no direction to go in. So, I know exactly how you feel.

I wish I could offer words of comfort, and point you in the right direction, but sadly that is how it is. Maybe someone else will read your post and find a way for you to get where you want to go.

Good luck to you.
Retired 3 years; lost my housemate (my mom) a month ago
by: June in Deerfield

Rebuilding your life takes time and effort. I am reaching out to friends I've not talked with in years; they are very supportive and responsive.

I am working on my house, as much as I can afford. I am fortunate, my niece and nephew live close to me. Still they have their lives, so my happiness is up to me.

I plan to volunteer; in small ways at first (local food pantry, library), but then larger projects maybe even Habitat for Humanity; I would like to learn carpentry skills.

Read positive messages, reach out to locals who share your interests (flower clubs, model trains clubs).

Do not just sit around and feel miserable, take action...any action, that will energize your spirit. Please stay with this website. The folks here know whay you are feeling!
Move by friends & family
by: Tracy

Same boat here. Retired and moved to a place where I know nobody because of my husbands job transfer. Trust me as soon as he retires we are moving BACK to friends and family.

In the meantime, I joined a health club and met one friend I can walk and talk with. I go to $5 movies on Tuesday's. I also checked out Meet Ups and joined them a few times. I went to some political meetings in town as well.

Nothing replaces good friends and family so it is worth it to move back as soon as you are able.

Good luck to you!
Understandable
by: K.M

Trying to live on just retirement funds can never be fun. But if you have good health and people that can benefit from you helping them in ways other than financial you can have a good life. I stress over money everyday but keep busy with things that don't cost me money.

If you have good health you have to take advantage of it while you can. Don't ever take that for granted. Wishing you the best in life and Hope you find your niche in your retirement years.
Anonymous by Jefferson
by: Betty/Archer, Fl


FREE FALLING INTO SPACE
Hay I like that one.
I feel I have experienced this one a few times.
That's similar to what I termed it starting over.
Most interesting climbing back up.
As for me this happened last time during 2008. (financial matters) I am still climbing because it was a hard fall.
Meaningless
by: Jefferson

I share your feelings, but one thing I have found that works for me is this.

Enjoy the lows, it's like free falling into space, then when you hit bottom and you are really sure you have hit bottom take time to look around at everything around you. If you want to stay there then stay there for as long as necessary. Then when your ready start the climb back to the real world.

A friend told me this when I had a loss. When I asked him how many times he had done this he smiled and told me many times.

In thinking about this I am smiling and I can tell you this has worked for me many times.

Happiness
People need people
by: Anonymous

It's hard to connect with after years of being too busy with career, but necessary for a successful retirement. Social groups in civic or church are good places to start. SO MANY people feel the same way and you might need to start the connections. Easier to do in senior communities in Florida, or Arizona.
Reach Out
by: Anonymous

I can relate to the difficulty of finding like minded companionship in small communities!

Because you are not able to travel a pet for company is the best partner because theyare most happy when their owner is constantly with them.

You can reach out on this site by stating your interests and asking for someone who would like to share like minded thoughts with you by email friendship or chatting.

Many nice people to meet here so best wishes for happier times soon!!!
Old Age: Not So Golden
by: Linda/Nevada

I am into my third year of retirement and I struggle everyday to stay positive and not give into the darkness.

I recently found myself lecturing my 32 year old daughter about learning coping skills and learning how to deal with stress. She is very unhappy with her current job and I am running out of consoling words of wisdom. It just occurred to me that I should follow my own advice. Easier said than done!!

Isolation has always been a component of my life so I find myself not speaking to a human being for days and weeks at a time. It is just a natural part of my character. I wonder if the experts are correct when they say that loneliness leads to an earlier death in seniors. I don't think so. If it were true, I would be on my death bed right now.

Tenacity is what keeps me going when I feel myself sinking into sadness and hopelessness. Other than suicide, what choice do I have?
Meaninglessness Golden Years.
by: Betty/Archer Fla

Dear Anonymous,

So sorry things turned out for you as such. I'm glad you decided to reach out to Retirement Online.

Perhaps you will find the type of friends here that you are looking for. But have you considered moving closer to family?

I'm also divorced and sometimes get lonely.
I try to keep myself busy/involved with my interests such as writing, reading and cooking. But during idleing times I feel lonely.
Find a goal
by: Anonymous

What is it you would like to do?

Decide that and you can move on to the next step of figuring out how to do it.

I want to change the way the world uses the resources it has. been working on the idea of the up slope updraft solar power tower for some time.

I am not yet retired, when I am I expect to work on this nearly full time.
meaningless
by: Anonymous

I really know what you mean.

Maybe you could link up to meeting.com or find some volunteer work to do.

Or perhaps just be grateful for good health (if you have it) and sunshine (on sunny daoys) and definitely get a dog or cat to take care of: definitely taking care of another living being is VERY meaningful.

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