Mom Hospitalized Nov 2022

by Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach
(Michigan)

Mom was hospitalized one week ago, Sunday to Wednesday, and is back at Assisted Living.

I've never seen Emergency so packed with people waiting to get in, lined up down the hall, waiting... I've also never seen so many inside Emergency, lined up in beds along the hallways, rooms all full! COVID is still around just not making the news as much as it previously did.

Back to mom, She was unresponsive and taken by ambulance -- no speech, hardly recognized us. Three days of testing -- and nothing!

She did have an infection but they never figured out where, just gave her antibiotics. She was dehydrated, she doesn't care for water, but the IV helped there.

The real problem is now her mental state. She is so down! Scared of what's happening to her. Scared to be alone. They found nothing. She is fine. But scared...

We told the Neurologist we are now concerned about her mental state, and she agreed. Discharge papers quickly followed.

WHY does this happen to older folks when hospitalized? They get SO confused, and the combination of drugs, laying there with nothing to do but worry, and being somewhere they don't recognize -- Ugg.

I met Nick at mom's place and we chat sometimes. He went into the hospital with COVID weeks ago, and returned to Memory Care. He was confused to begin, but... whatever happened there, he is now classified differently and resides in a Memory unit. How Sad.

Praying mom's friends and family can pull her through this sadness. Mom is 96. Let her time here be lived without pain (mental or physical)!

Has this happened to someone you know? I am curious!

Comments for Mom Hospitalized Nov 2022

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Wendy’s mum
by: Anonymous

No, but I am sorry you both have to go through it.

Wendy: This is life, right? This is what I expect being lucky enough to still have mom at age 96! It can't be easy... but we get by, day by day!
Hospitalization and the elderly
by: Dana

Wendy,

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom’s recent health issues and her mental confusion and depression regarding her hospitalization.

I went through this several times with my dear mother who passed away in 2014 at 96. Each time she was hospitalized even for seemingly minor issues she experienced so much confusion and anxiety.

I had to be with her most of the time because she would even give the staff wrong information when they asked her questions if i wasn’t there. There seemed to be a lot of different staff in and out of her room and it was even confusing for me to try to figure out who was who!

Once my Mom would return to assisted living and get back into a routine she was much better, until the next time! I hated it for her as I’m sure you do for your dear Mom.

At least you can take some solace in knowing that you are there for her. Cannot imagine how it is for the elderly who have no one.

All the best for your Mom and you.
Dana

Wendy: She is getting better now that she is back... still a bit hesitant, but getting back in the swing of things. Hospitals take a huge mental hit on life when you are old.
Change in medicine
by: Sharon/Raleigh

Possibly a change in medicine has made these two seem more confused. Or even missing a dose of medicine…

My dad was in memory care for about 2 and 1/2 years and then started having very high blood pressure. He was sent to the hospital about once a month for five months with high blood pressure.

The last time he was in the hospital, he was sent to rehab rather than back to memory care. A neurologist’s physician’s assistant told us that he did not need certain medicines he had been taking for dementia, those medicines only worked in the early stages.

We took him off of those medicines, and he declined rapidly and was dead within three weeks. This has been very hard to accept that we made a wrong decision, however I know that he forgives me.

Consequently, I would like to say: watch medication changes closely!

Wendy: To me, there is nothing to forgive. You followed the medical teams suggestion, you did no wrong. They may have stopped the prescription even without your approval. How could you possibly know this would affect him in a negative way? You are not responsible... it was simply his time. Always God's timing, not ours. Hugs!
I understand
by: Tom Burnaby BC

I understand your situation. I also look after my elderly 91 year old mother.

Just remember that the senior we all love has a pretty rather boring day to day life but when a medcial incident occurs their world dramatically changes in a matter of minutes and hours.

This is somewhat similar to a traumatic experience which may lead to overall confusion and being in a somewhat state of shock. Everything becomes magnified for the elder person especially their negative thoughts especially the fear of dying.

Being in this sort of state of shock makes communication rather erratic and for many only then do they really come face to face with the possibility of dying. Fear does many different things to many seniors, and many undergo a drastic personality change especially if they lose hope and face death.

All I can suggest is to hold their hand, smile, brush their hair and give them a hot, wet towel to wash their face... these are all soothing things to do. Talk to them in a kind, caring tone about happy times and incidents to get them to focus on good times.

This is the most we can do.. just like a frightened child, just hold them, hug them and tell them it'll be OK... you are there to look after them and they don't have to worry.

Best of luck. Take care
Tom

Wendy: this is beautiful! thankyou!
What could be happening?
by: Karin

I lived on the couch for months knowing something was wrong with me and not getting any sleep at all.

One day I passed out and my son took me to urgent care. They sent me by ambulance to the hospital because my blood pressure was so high. I was there for 3 days and they could not find anything wrong with me they sent me back home with blood pressure meds and I wound up back on the couch.

A month later my daughter just so happened my daughter to had an oximeter and checked my pulse was only 35. I made an appointment with the same heart doctor and they rushed me to the hospital.

Turns out I needed a pacemaker all this time but the doctors did not catch that while I was in the hospital for a check up. My heart beat was okay when I was checked by the doctors but then would start failing again randomly. My daughter just happened to catch it at the right time.

My electrical system was failing. We have three in your body and all three of mine were failing.

The doctors in the hospital didn't notice for the 3 days. My daughter saved my life. I needed a pacemaker is hard to diagnose seeing as it does not show up every minute.

I think everyone should have an oximeter in the house to check their pulse once in awhile. It's just a little thing you stick your finger in.

Wendy: Thanks Karin!

Medical fundraiser
by: William HA

There have been many people I've helped with similar issues by donating to their fundraiser.

I know you have a donation box on your website, but if you also have a medical fundraiser; I will donate.

Everyone loves Wendy; William

Wendy: Hey, thanks William, but totally unnecessary as mom has good insurances... but Thank you!
Meds
by: Alison NY

I wonder what meds your mother is on, how many are increased or changed when hospitalized and wonder what effect they have on memory and competence.

I am trying so hard to maneuver through the aging process without taking a prescribed medication. Luckily thanks to good genes and much healthier nutritional habits, I don't have high blood pressure, cholesterol or diabetes, but those meds have effects on everything in your body. And I bet her medicine cabinet is full of things you are not even sure she needs.

I hope her situation improves for both your sakes. The holidays are approaching, things will get busy and stressful. Remember to take care of yourself too.
Mom is better!
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

Mom is returning to her old self, minus another chunk of her memory... It seems she might be losing some of her short-term memory. Time Will Tell.

She is enjoying her friends a bit, going to lunch and dinner again and things are slowly turning around.

Thanks for the prayers and well-wishes!!

Wendy
Hope
by: Karin

The same thing happened to my uncle. He is in his 90s but was getting along and at least had hope.

A few days his personality changed and he was just not himself. Confused and dazed, I took him to the hospital and he was there 3 days.

They sent him home with the diagnosis of complication from having covid. Very strange he has not had covid for a while and if he did we were not aware. The doctor said he might just snap out of it all you can do is wait and see.

Praying for your mom

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