Moving

by Cathy
(Las Vegas)

I recently moved from Indiana to Las Vegas about 3 months ago to be with my son and grandbaby. I was born and raised in IN and I'm so very homesick and want to move back.

I know this might sound terrible but there are times where I don't want to be around my grandbaby. I might mention that I live with them full time.

Moving was the biggest financial mistake of my life. I can get a better job if I moved back home and possibly get my finances back on course. But how do I leave my son and grandbaby without feeling guilty?

I think about this 24/7 and am depressed. I miss my life back home. And I'm afraid to live alone here in Las Vegas.

I so stressed out about all of this. I really hope someone can help me decide what to do or at least give me some advice. Thank you!!

Comments for Moving

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Moved
by: Linda Ca!if.

I moved from Pa. Lived there all my life but moved in 2010 to help with my grandson since both Mom@Dad work It was a tough couple of years I lived with them for awhile. but wanted to be on my own so found a Senior apt. Building I live in.

I have adjusted to living here My friends & I keep in touch by phone ,text, & email I don't miss the winters in Pa. at all! don't be to hasty to move back, give it a while, go out and meet people.

Staying at your sons a d not having your own place is putting stress on both of you. Give yourself a chance, its getting over that hurdle , then you'll be o.k.

Honor yourself
by: Carol Parker

There is nothing to feel guilty about. You tried something and after giving it a try it does not fulfill you. Life allows you to make U turns.


Go home
by: Louisewt

Cathy,

You have answered you own question. You are dreadfully unhappy where you are living. You are not the first person on earth who has moved and hated the new location.

I can think of many stories of New Englander's moving to Florida and discovering the climate is too hard to live in. Florida is hot, humid and buggy not to mention the alligators. People who hate it have been known to move half way back to New England and have chosen the Carolina's. They are known as 'half backs'.

So just tell your Son you miss your home state and plan to move back. Invite him to come too!

Just because you are in another state doesn't mean you can't keep in contact with your son and grandchild daily. You can call or do FaceTime on the computer and can plan visits every so often, maybe long weekends. Find cheap airfare if possible.

Go home, it is where you heart is.

Go Home!
by: Anonymous

it was admirable for you to want to help your son and grandson, but it's more important that you don't feel obligated to help them.

You didn't give any ages so I can't comment on that area of this discussion. It seems that you could have improved your situation by not having rent/mortgage payments, so why are you having financial problems now?

What would your son do if you weren't there? Why didn't he move back to your city so you could help him?

Do what's best for you!

On Moving Back home
by: Elna Nugent, MA

Dear Cathy:

Moving from Indiana to Las Vegas is a huge change , never mind living with a family and grandchild. Most people would find it impossible-never mind at your age, and no matter how sane it might have seemed at first.

Tell your family that you love them but Las Vegas is too huge a change for you to adapt to at your age and you have decided you must move back to the land that you have historically known and loved.

Also living alone can sometimes be a necessity for someone older. You get to do what you want when you want to and make your own decisions and not have to go by anothers schedule.

Your honesty , along with a kind approach will smooth the way for you.. Blessings to you and the family.


Go Back Home
by: Linda/Nevada

Cathy,

I moved to Henderson, NV, which is just outside of Las Vegas, in 2003. I still live in Henderson but I feel like a tourist who never went home. It has been a love-hate relationship with Nevada. I don't gamble or drink alcohol so I feel like a fish out of water.

In 2012, I quit my state job and cashed out my pension to move to Austin, TX. Big Mistake!! I blew through $9k just to survive and look for a job. Never could get hired and was running out of money. My boyfriend, at the time, took me back to Nevada and let me live with him until I got back on my feet. Moving is expensive and not always has a good outcome.

My personal advice to you is to move back to Indiana. Las Vegas has a very high crime rate and it is hard to make friends because people move to Las Vegas for the short term. Las Vegas is just a stopover to a better place.

In this day and age, technology gives you all kinds of ways to stay in touch with people. As parents, we sacrifice so much for our children but that should not mean that our whole lives need to be lived for the good of other people. If you think your quality of life would be better in Indiana, go home and live the rest of your life the way you want to.

If your son loves you, he will understand why Las Vegas is not a good place for you. He has his life and you are entitled to live where you can have the best possible life for your remaining years.

My daughter lives in San Diego, CA. I only see her twice a year but she is happy and doing well. I have accepted that she belongs in California and she respects my decision to live in Nevada. We keep in touch by phone and text and I know that she is there if I need her.

Don't feel guilty. Go home.

Don't mess with Stress
by: Anonymous

Take it from me, stress can make you VERY ill. Don't risk getting sick by being under constant stress.

You must remove yourself from the situation soon or you'll suffer physical symptoms. Explain it to your son. Maybe he feels the stress too.

If he loves you, he'll understand. It's your life....save what you have left of it.

Moving
by: Sherry/Wilmington, NC

This was a very generous thing you did!!!! I know it took courage for you and lots of courage. I remember the first time I moved from my home state.

i was 31 years old and it was for my ex-husband's
job. We were transferred from a beautiful southern warm state to the cold and snowy midwest. I hated it, but tried not to complain.

I had 2 babies and myself and children were all alone. I had to raise my children by myself even though I was married. My husband traveled with his work so he wasn't home very often!!! I had it "cold turkey" so to speak.

I was forced to move and raise my children all alone. I made friends with neighbors and learned to get around. I could always call my mother and sisters for support.

My husband made a very nice salary and I didn't have to work, that was wonderful! I couldn't have gone out everyday in all of that snow!! I loved being a stay at home mom; although it was hardest job I have
ever done, 1979 through 1999!!!!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!

I AM STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST
by: loyce

You were HAPPY before you moved and UNHAPPY in Las Vegas so consider going back home and occasionally visiting your grandchild.

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