My battle with depression after my retirement has an expiration date.
I still remember my first job as a clerk at a department store in the Bronx, New York when I was 14. From thereon in, I've worked all my life.
I retired in 2013 after 55 years of a wonderful life working and getting a good salary. So, after retirement, I moved to Puerto Rico for a couple of years, got remarried to my first husband after 42 years and moved back to Florida with him. We have a great relationship, but I am not happy.
He is a great husband, but cannot understand my feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. I have been so depressed that I was taking sleep medication during the day just to sleep and then, I could not sleep at night, so I'd have the TV on all night.
I have felt useless and old. Like someone threw me away.
Where are all my friends?
Where are all the activities after work?
Where have all the flowers gone?
I became so depressed that I started thinking of death almost everyday, wondering how and when was I going to die and if I was prepared for eternity.
I turned 68 on August 12 and honestly, I don't feel old. Am I?
So I decided that the only one that could set me back on my feet, was me, with God's help. So, I am going back to my faith. With God all things are possible.
I am doing a turnaround and will try to make a difference in someone's life. There are so many folks out there that can use our strengths, and sharing with others will lessen our loneliness, I believe.
After being diagnosed with vulvar cancer I thought that I was dying without achieving anything with the time I had been given, and after the successful operation, I can only believe that I am here for a purpose.
Please use your time and even if you don't feel like it, as the old song says, "make someone happy, make just one someone happy, and you will be happy too".