My desires have been quenched
I was out of work on 12-28-13 from a grocery chain which went out of business.
Was only 3 months from a pension, so I just retired at 60 and drew a pension. I was looking forward to it and for the first few months in the winter, was fine.
I live solo and am unmarried and apparently will be okay financially.
As soon as spring arrived last year, I was suddenly hit with panic attacks and anxiety; came out of nowhere. Don't have many close friends and most are busy with family and jobs.
I was looking forward to traveling and camping (solo). I live as a semi-recluse and didn't even realize it. Now I'm living the lifestyle I created for myself. I ride a bicycle and hike a local woods just to do something and make myself tired enough to sleep at night.
My day begins with getting up about 8:30 am, making coffee, watching the weather channel, nursing a cigarette and trying to deal with racing thoughts. I will eventually eat, hike, or bicycle and try to fill the day out with.......?
Anybody out there similar to this or can relate to?
It might just be better to get this off my chest just to write it out. Any feed back will be appreciated.
I just hope my mental strength and desires and confidence return. the worst part about it is it's kind of an in and out thing.