My Early Retirement is Great, but Hubby’s Bored

I think men have a tougher time with retirement.


My husband and I are both retired military and both have pensions and high passive income from our robust stock and real estate portfolio.

I retired in my late 40’s and have been active with my hobbies and taking care of the house and college-bound kids. Now we have an empty nest and I love having so much free time and am grateful for this life of leisure/travel.

Hubby is in early retirement at 57 and bored. He’s got physical issues that prevent him from working out like he used to and is not as social or interested in meeting new people as I am. We watch shows at night but I can see him adrift during the day. He’s not into household chores, diy projects or gardening.

It’s ironic that we spent the first two decades together juggling kids, careers, deployments, etc, to achieve early retirement and financial wealth, and now that we’ve accomplished our goal, one of us is not so content with life.

Comments for My Early Retirement is Great, but Hubby’s Bored

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Total Opposites
by: Canadian Retiree

Retirement is totally different for my husband and I.

I am the one who gets bored, he loves his retirement and has since day one.

I on the other hand had a terrible adjustment to retirement. I wanted to go back to work as soon as I retired. I missed my coworkers, I missed my routine and even though I complained, I missed my commute! I never thought I would say that.

Retirement is a different journey for everyone.

I am sure in time your husband will find peace with his retired life. It takes time.

Don't give up!

I understand his frustration
by: Malcolm B. / Huntsville, AL

Just so you can understand a little better, I am a Grand Mal epileptic and cannot drive, never been able to. The four walls close in on you quickly, especially if you have no hobbies.

If he is like me, he's spent half or more of his life behind a computer so there is little use of it. He probably doesn't read a lot, our eyes are tired.

The COVID virus has limited what he can do and driving around just isn't his thing. However since he doesn't have his work buddies around there is little for him to do.

There are probably lots of DIY projects that could be done, but the interest is low or none existent.

He needs to do a couple of things. First and foremost get a doctor to check him out, depression hits fast.

Second he needs to get out of the house, drive around to cities and communities that he hasn't gone to before. He might just find a little shop that has something he wants or needs a helping hand part time, 3 days a week is the limit.

Good luck.

There is a difference...
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

You opted out of the workforce early-early... no longer working outside the home at 40. You pursued a totally different lifestyle -- you were busy with kids, housekeeping, and hobbies. The world was waiting for you with open arms!

You've had years of the no-employment lifestyle, making choices on how to spend your time how to live this life called Retirement. Your retirement was a busy time of life with kids, you likely didn't have the TIME to even consider the lifestyle change.

He retired later. He retired from a long career, full of discipline and activity. He retires to a different home, the kids are older and don't "need" him as they needed you at 40.

Now, COVID rules the day with a closed-off world and few contacts outside the home. THAT in itself is a huge change in anyone's life. COVID affects all lives to some extent... but new retirees who are often left wondering "what's next" are really confused when they are stuck indoors with little to do suddenly. It's tough.

I'm not saying your retirement wasn't a big change. I am saying that your retirement and his are fairly different.

He will come around. He will figure out what's next in life and become his retired self. Just takes time...

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