My Elderly Mum
I'm in a similar situation; I'm aged 58, Mum is 83 and I'm her only known living blood relative. Her hobby is researching her family history so I'm absolutely sure of this.
In the forty years of my marriage to Mike, Mum has criticised him for daring to allow himself to lose his job & become unemployed (think of the shame this brought on the family is her point of view in such matters) and has accused me of being a wicked, ungrateful, undutiful daughter for daring to actually agree with my husband instead of automatically agreeing with her side of the argument.
My student daughter, Mum's only grandchild, enjoys the student lifestyle in London and is the type of young lady who has rather a lot of tattoo's - not my cup of tea but she's an adult so able to make her own choices in such matters and I don't comment on her tats any more. Mum, on the other hand, constantly goes on and on about 'when she was young, only drunken sailors and prostitutes had tattoo's' and she just will not shut up and keep her opinions to herself.
Since Mum was widowed ten years ago she's also admitted to being virtually stone deaf in both ears yet she refuses to wear her hearing aids so can not hear the telephone when I ring. Also, she doesn't bother to check her phone messages on a daily basis either.
In a nutshell, I sometimes think what's the point in trying to keep contact with her when she makes no effort to listen to us/wear her hearing aids and has said things about my husband that he will never forget or forgive.
She can not understand why Mike feels so strongly about this...whilst I accept thst Mum is entitled to her own opinions, surely there's the time and place for expressing said opinions and sometimes it might be tactful to simply keep her opinions to herself?
On the one hand, I suppose I ought to keep in contact with Mum more - she lives an hour's drive away from me - but I do sometimes wonder what's the point if all I get when I go there is criticisms of my husband and daughter, as well as constant tales of what her friends' daughters do for their elderly Mums.
What do other people think of my situation? I really don't know what to do.
Wendy's other site... because Aging Matters!