My husband is a recliner potato and an alcoholic

by Barbara

My retired husband is all of the above and drinks beer from 5:00 AM until bedtime.


For a very short while he was interested in working part time. I helped him with the employment application and he went for the interview and got the job but when the time came for him to go to work, he wouldn’t go. He came up with the excuse that he couldn’t hear well enough.

I’m so depressed from his lifestyle that I don’t even want to do anything; not even clean house. I have a part time job and on the other days I watch him sit in the recliner and drink one beer after another all day long.

Neither of us have a social life and I spend my life being angry and depressed.

Comments for My husband is a recliner potato and an alcoholic

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Help Yourself
by: Anonymous

Go to Al Anon. Find a meeting either face to face or on line. Make life about YOU again.

Listen! Listen!
by: Anonymous

If an older person says that he doesn't hear well enough it probably means that he could need hearing aids or maybe just an opportunity to clean out his ears.

I suggest to help him solve one problem at a time starting with the hearing problem.

You have a huge challenge ahead but as a married couple you need to help more instead of just announcing all of his problems. If it still doesn't work out at least you tried to help him.

Good Luck!

Recliner Potato
by: Sherry/NC

Your husband is depressed and needs to have a physical exam by his doctor and also go AA and you can benefit from AA also. Please go to AA alone if he won't go with you. He needs to know you love him and care.

I know it is difficult but, you can do it because he is your husband and you want things to be better.

Been There
by: Linda/Nevada

You probably don't want to hear it but your husband's problem sounds like he has given up on life. I have been there only it wasn't beer, it was Pepsi or Coke.

When I lost my job, my self-esteem went into a downward spiral. It was extremely hard for me to look for a job because I kept telling myself that I was not worth hiring. It was so much easier to loose myself in Netflix or Hulu with a glass of soda. I was lucky that I live alone because my depression was not affecting anyone else.

When someone gives up, it takes time for them to realize what is happening to them. Criticism and impatience from other people will not fix anything. Everybody who is depressed has to find the one thing that will make them turn their life around. Hopefully, your husband will find the light at the end of his tunnel.

You are not obligated to go down the dark path if you don't want to. You might have to make some very hard decisions about your marriage but in the end, it is your choice.


Stop
by: Anonymous

Stop!

Get more hours at your job. Get out and join a group that you are interested in. Forget your husband and eventually separate from him. You do not have to go down his road you can make your own path. This is not 1930 it's 2017 and women are emancipated.

Good luck ...make your own good luck.

Alanon
by: Nancy

There is a list of meetings in your area on the official Alanon website. I was in Alanon many years and it helped me so much. It is a wonderful program.

Reclining Alcoholic
by: Elna Nugent, Mass.

Barbara:

If your husband has a hearing problem - has he seen a doctor about it. His life could change dramatically if he had ear pieces that allowed him to hear better. Can he hear the TV and you when you talk. If so it wouldn't take much for him to find a doctor who can help him.

As for the drinking, that is serious - and can affect his health. Has this been a problem for him even when he was working? I take it he has no hobbies or interests that he might have enjoyed before retirement.

Not only does he need help, so do you. This is not the life you have chosen.

You should consult someone as soon as possible who can hear you out and offer you help because this is damaging to you both and you deserve better.

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