My Life with a Man who is lost in Retirement

by Susan J. Z.

My husband retired and has had alot of health problems.

The Dr. told him to quit smoking and cut way down on drinking alcohol. He hasn't taken the advice. He sits around and drinks and smokes and sleeps most of the time. Sometimes he doesn't even shower until late in the day.

He expects me to stay with him and I want to exercise, see friends and have a life.

We argue and he is mean and angry.

Help me figure this out before I lose my mind.

Comments for My Life with a Man who is lost in Retirement

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Alcohol and Depression
by: Gail / California

I strongly suggest you find an Al Anon group you are comfortable with. You will find support and understanding you never imagined existed. You cannot change your husband but you CAN find answers for you. Good luck!

by: Anonymous

No man shall steal your joy! No man is worth crying over. Abuse physically or mentally is a crime.

by: Sherry/ NC

He is depressed. Please have some empathy for him; he is having a hard time with retirement.

He IS taking a shower even if it is late in the day.
Change your attitude and ask him if you can do anything for him or help him in anyway possible? Maybe he just needs you to listen to him without giving him advice or ridicule.

By the sound of your comment you cannot exercise or do what you want? Why can't you ?

He needs you to at least try to understand how he is feeling.

Have patience and listen.

Abusive Husband
by: Bernard Kelly - Geelong

That man is an excellent example of an abusive husband and you are letting him continue with spousal abuse. It's actually called domestic violence.

You need to take action and split - either you will have to move out or he will.

But as it's unlikely he will, can you both live seperate lives in the same house?

But now that you've voiced your concerns, keep going until you find a solution.

Are there social workers nearby who you could discuss this with?

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