Retired and Now: No purpose
(Madrid, Spain - US citizen)
I am recently retired and like many longed for leisure time, time to meditate on life and to do things I had always wanted to do.
The problem is that since age 6 I have had no unstructured leisure time. Formal employment since age 22 - am now 63 - with no breaks.
I am divorced with no children and with a family that while close does not offer me great support, as they have their own problems and challenges. I live alone, but while I have friends have no one who periodically calls me everyday.
So I have visions of dying and not being found for a week - this did happen to a friend of mine so it is not that absurd.
Also like many my savings are not what they were - have lost quite a bit in the stock market so for now I have to live on my pension and try not to touch the savings - so I am worried about expenses, although not destitute.
I am still in contact with my place of employment, where I had a very successful career, but had to retire at a specified age, although my projects were not completed. Due to cut backs and the current economic situation, the person I had expected to replace me could not be hired and thus everything I created is slowing falling into decay.
So I find myself depressed and without purpose.
It sure sounds like you are going through a grieving process of losing yourself. I think that's soooo sad!
At 63, please find your own retirement peace and live that completely active retirement.
I think we all spend too much time worrying about tomorrow, and the majority of things we worry about -- never happen.
Do yourself a favor, go to Amazon.com and order Eckert Tolle's book -- either THE POWER OF NOW, or A NEW EARTH. Buy your books used, most LOOK brand new, and you save a LOT! The second book can be read, while you watch weekly webcasts found on Oprah's website still. Weekly webcasts for every chapter -- and folks from around the world tuned in and skyped in to talk questions about finding internal peace. IT really still help you to stop that voice in your head.. all that self talk isn't doing you any good.
I wonder if your occupation (or a hobby, living in Spain, etc) would lend itself to sharing your ideas and knowledge through a blog (free) or website (not free, but you can earn an income)? Both, in time, will provide you with emails from folks - worldwide - who are looking for answers on whatever information you can provide. It's really quite fulfilling.
I will help you start a free blog if you are interested! It might help you think about something else, anything but your non-productive retirement... then little by little, you'll find the NEW and maybe even IMPROVED Rosa from Spain!