Retired, Just Not Tired….

by Julie Grenness

Retiree, just not tired. Are we there yet?

I sit here, a seenager, having coffee with old pals from my teaching days. I am so old, I taught Moses his reading, writing and ‘rithmetic. Now we are all retired, just not that tired. Some of my friends do line dancing and aqua aerobics, senior yoga, you name it, they are energetic.

I am more the sedentary type, as I have some mobility issues. Still, I practise mild daily exercise, Tai Chi and lifting suitable weights. Some of my friends and I can be thought of as walking miracles. Haters gonna hate, but seenagers keep on keeping on.

Seenagers eventually are heading for the nursing home industry. At the moment, we dodge, while having a whine about the younger generations. We might all reach decrepitude, and these millennials will have to look after all us older ladies and dudes.

That might be described as Boomergeddon, we shall be retired, geriatric and tired. I am sure the young ones will invent some sorts of robots to perform nursing tasks, such as doing blood pressures and bedpans.

Retired folk our age can imagine that, Asimov meets The Jetsons. “Good morning, I robot. Take your meds! Toodledoo!!” This will bring us new meaning to the future of our retirement in a digital world.

This might be our new normal. One friend of mine recently had his prostate surgery totally completed by a robot. The human surgeon stood on the far side of the operating theatre, guiding the robot’s precision scalpels, employing a digital remote control. It was amazing microsurgery, but successful, so that was terrific news.

A retired nurse might agree with this. But a primary nurse is still irreplaceable, even by a robot. They are very valuable people, and need a gold medal for all their nursing skills and experience. My retired coffee pals agree.

I came home from coffee for the retired. Still not tired, time for housework. All us seenagers must set realistic goals, so I swept and mopped the floors. Browsing on my phone, I found a website that would sell me a robot to do housework. This invention can sweep, mop and vacuum. I do not know whether to engage in some retail therapy and buy a robot.

I enlarge the print, squinting. Would I get a senior’s discount for cash? Then I might not grow weary. Retired, just not tired yet…….

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