Retired & Lonely, I feel it too

It's sad yet comforting to know that I'm not the only one who thought he wanted to retire more than anything in the world and realizes, 1-1/2 years and counting later, that it was a terrible mistake.

I try to keep busy and try to stay "positive" and put on a happy face, but the truth is I'm lost without an inner sense of purpose or contentment and realize that I walked away when my skills were at their peak. I retired because I thought I was suffering from job-related stress and anxiety but after retiring my stress and anxiety became worse and work had actually mitigated the symptoms, sigh.

There's no do overs and life has to go forward. I'm doing the best I can but have unfortunately have lost my enthusiasm for life, which just isn't my personality, at least the old me. I'm able to fake it that all is well though and I'll keep working on it.

Nobody ever warns you about the emotional consequences and fallout of retirement, only financial.

Comments for Retired & Lonely, I feel it too

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You're right no one warns you
by: Nancy

About the emotional toll retirement takes.

When I retired the first year, I had the sharpest feeling of regret I had ever experienced. Now 7 years later, I still feel a longing for work. Like you said, a sense of purpose, a sense of accomplishment.

I feel as though I have adjusted to retirement, and actually love it at this point; however, there is still that lingering regret. I thought by this point the regret would be gone.

I'm glad I am not working now, but wish I had worked a little longer. It's okay to have mixed feelings. And normal.

Right There With You
by: Tim C / So Cal

Hi
I've been retired four months and had the same hopes for retirement--no more job-related anxiety, time to rest, etc. I find myself in the same place as you--anxious and trying to figure out my place in this new world.

So far, I've taken a three-pronged approach. First, I've decided to look for a new job. I made the right decision to leave my old workplace--just too frustrating and crazy. At the time, retirement looked like the best economic decision because I have a good pension and health care. But I still have things to offer the workplace. So I decided to look for a new job, but out of the area. I'm trying to treat this as an opportunity for a new challenge in a new place.

Second, my wife and I are seriously considering moving out of the country, specifically to Portugal. The chance to explore new places and learn new things should help me deal with what I'm missing in the workplace.

Finally, I'm trying to find value beyond work, by staying active in my church and getting things done around the house, things I've delayed while I was working. I'm still all the things I was when I was working, and a job isn't the only place to use those talents.

I think each of us has to do and find what works best for him or her. There's no "magic bullet" that will make all this go away overnight. But just like when I was working, I should be willing to try different things till I find what works for me. And I hope you can do the same!

Motivation
by: J.S./San Antonio

Most people have grown accustomed to being motivated by others. When they retire they feel left out, let down.

They have the freedom to be self-motivated, but this freedom may seem like a burden. Moving from being motivated by others and being self-motivated is a process.

I have read many good books which explain this process. These authors motivate the reader to be self-motivated. I think Wendy has several recommendation listed on this website.

Purpose
by: Sherry/NC

Yes, it is very meaningful, but you can find it in other ways; volunteering at something you are interested in doing.
I volunteer at a garden here in my town. The garden is beautiful
lots of folks come to visit, it has a very nice walking trail and I drive
a tram around and give history tours of the garden. I love being
outside in nature and it really feels good. Give to others your
time and it will make you feel good, I promise!

magnesium levels
by: Anonymous

Hi, I know this is not the best way to get this out there perhaps. I would like to suggest that all of you get your magnesium and d3 levels tested.

I have learned since I started chemo treatment that mine was low, had some brain fog, depression, shaking of limbs, hands, night time movements of legs. Now I am taking an easy to absorb form, not magnesium oxide, and I no longer have symptoms stated above.

Consult your doctor prior to action, try for the high side of normal, we may need more than young people do.

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