Retired & Lonely

by kiara
(Houston, Texas)

I remember four years ago when I use to watch all the office employees during the rush lunch hour at the farmers market and felt so sad for them and for me, but knowing that I would be retiring soon made my day and made me happy. What a mistake!

Now I would do anything to be one of those that had to run a grab a yogurt and get back to work because of the load of work waiting for you.

I think I am still sad and it has been 4 years.

Volunteerism, boating and traveling has helped me to cope with retirement since I love to travel. Also dancing zumba and line dance at the senior center has given me more joy since one of my biggest passion is dancing.

Since I moved near Houston and I do not enjoy driving to the City, and it was hard for me to get a job in the City I live and I quit looking.

I remember those days in Puerto Rico when I could choose where and in what law firm I was going to work. It had to be a luxurious office and it had to be a good compensation with all the benefits and it had to be with my requirements. Nowadays I would settle for a metal desk in a little cubby hole, hahahha! Such is life.

I am still grateful for the lessons learned, the best opportunities of working I had during my life with the best people you can ever imagine.

Comments for Retired & Lonely

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Certainly Understand What You Are Going Through
by: Debbie

I've been retired for 5 years but my husband is still working.

Although I am not alone, I clearly miss the sense of purpose and engagement that I had when I worked. I so feel the way you do and so understand the challenges you are facing.

I constantly yearned for more free time and now I realize my work actually gave me interpersonal satisfaction and kept me busy and active. I think much of my identity was tied to my job and now it seems I am constantly searching for a new way to define myself which is of course silly.

I'm so glad you were honest with your thoughts and feelings because I was beginning to think I must be crazy.

Me too... life is so boring
by: Anna Houston

Being retired is not what it was because we live longer, we have less money, and there is too much electronic gadgets.

I was a legal assistant, had so much to do and loved it; looking forward to weekends to do what I do not feel like doing during the week.

Now I am boring and everyone else bores me. I am full of energy, walk about 12 miles every day, love to write, do some watercolors, but, as I say: I am bored and boring.

Me, too!
by: Doris, SC

I feel your pain - two and a half years out and I am still lonely.

I too worked for a major global law firm and I miss the people. I am single and most retirees are married. Most single women have to keep working. Hate retirement.

I moved from NYC to SC and while I would not go back to NYC I do not like it here or retirement. I bought a small mobile home with the intention of traveling and meeting other people. Might do a cross country trip and just take pictures.

Anyway, house goes on the market next spring and I am outta here - I need more walkability, energy and people. I have to find my way - this is not it for me.

Wendy: Doris, please write to me...

Response to: Retired & Lonely
by: Ken San Diego

I thought my part time job with at my friend's company was going to last, until I said "I quit" but as things happen, they decided to move the company to Texas (I live in San Diego CA) I didn't need the $$$ and was only working part time... so I said I'm RETIRED (Aug 11, 2016 1:03PM) ;-)

Now I just want to be free to do whatever I want and travel, spur of the moment train trips for lunch, dinner etc. sleep in, stay up late, etc. and no one telling me... "you have to get to bed, you have to WORK tomorrow! "

WORK is now the four letter word I don't want to hear! (and not even the OTHER 4 letter word!!!)

So sorry you are lonely, Kiara!
by: Elisa

Hi Kiara. I would like to offer you some positive words and hope that your loneliness subsides. Four years seems a long time to feel lonely.

I retired a year and a half ago and I have the opposite problem. I am not at all lonely. I enjoy my own company and don't miss people at all! In fact, I often wonder if there is something wrong with me for not feeling more lonely. : )

It sounds like you are striving to keep busy. That's a good thing. Perhaps you can take some adult education courses, learn a new language or write your memoirs? Don't give up. Contentment will come. Don't dwell on the past, instead start make new memories.

Lonely too
by: Karen

I retired a month ago. My husband is still working for another year. I have things I could do but I miss people! He works a lot at home so even though he's here, I miss a connection. Hoping I can find my niche.

New Friend
by: Goldie

Hi Kiara,

Your story sounds very familiar.
Would you like to become penpals? We can keep each other company as we explore our new life situation. I would be delighted to exchange messages with you. When you respond to this message I will post my email.

Hope to hear from you soon!


Metal Desk
by: Joe W.


Hi! I think that 4-Years is a along time to be sad and still looking in your rear end mirror. It all comes down to finding your passion, getting a personalized work plan and enjoying the fruits of your new labor.

I think that a metal desk in a cubbyhole at home is probably a good start to find out what you really want to do in your retirement life. From this step it's assessing your skills, interests, knowledge and resources to find yourself a meaningful option to work on.

Joe W.

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