Retirement and the Remote Control

by Jane Curtis, TX

The TV remote control is a necessary evil nowadays. When I was working; I watched the news in the morning and at night then finished the evening with a sitcom or two. The remote (after my last husband died) was always in the same place.

That all changed when I retired.

I have found it in the kitchen, the bathroom, and of course under every piece of furniture in the house.

You see… as a retired person… who lives alone… somewhat alone…there are fur people in the house.

I eat when I want and sleep… when I want. I finally broke myself of the habit of carrying it into other rooms. But I could not seem to stop it from traveling when I was asleep. I did not have to be asleep long before it made it’s way to remote heaven… I thought. The sleep walking remote started suddenly and lasted for about ten days before I found out how it was traveling.

I ordered new ones each time, on line. Then one day… my DVR wore out and the cable guy had to bring me a new one… with a new remote.

The nice young man rolled his eyes when he saw I had my remote control tethered to my TV tray in front of the sofa. I started to explain and he just waved me off and said, I know some of you seniors do crazy things with remote controls.

He had already met Baby Girl, Sweetie Pie, and Fredie. Fredie, a pit bull, was dancing a jig at both ends trying to get the guy’s attention. Sweetie Pie was trying to kiss him. Every time he bent down to connect a cable into the new DVR she licked him on the cheek. He wiped his face and said "geeese".

Sweetie Pie is a 150 pound gray hound who must have been a photographer in her previous life. Every time someone says “cheese”, she smiles at them. When she smiles she looks like she is getting ready for a snack. It frightens most people. Very few offer their hands to be kissed. Baby Girl is (a big yellow dog, barking her head off, behind me. When she sees him holding a remote-- she got very quiet.

I told the young man that my dog was a remote thief. He laughed at me, and said, “Sure Lady.”

Kids who think they know it all, bug me no end. I told him to finish programming the new remote and then just sit in the chair and be very quiet. He started to argue and I gave him my “I’m not kidding” look and he did as I asked.

I quietly put the remote on the TV tray, and stretched out on the sofa and closed my eyes. Baby Girl very quietly stepped over me, snatched the remote, and ran to the back bedroom. The guy started laughing. I went and got my new remote and he watched as I tethered it to the TV tray in front of me.

It all started when I made the mistake of playing with the dogs as I was crawling all over the floor looking for the first remote that had slipped out of my hand while I was napping. I had also given Baby Girl a treat for picking it up for me when I dropped it on the floor. It did not take her long to associate treats and attention with taking the remote for a walk, resulting in yes, "a traveling remote".

I found her “remote heaven” after I had bought four remotes, and purchased several “remote finders” that did not work, and gone looking for something else in the back bed room.

When I was working there was no problem. I have been a widow more than once. My husbands all had their own little quirks about the remote. But when I retired, living alone with fur people the remote is the last thing I expected to lose?

I was so glad when I found them buried with a few other things I had been missing… I gave Baby Girl a treat and some attention when I found them… Why? So, she will continue to put the things she takes in the same place. It is working so far.

How many times have you lost your remote since you retired?

Baby Girl is gone now. Fredie is gone too. I have Precious and still have Sweetie Pie. I have not lost my remote since I moved to Hawkins.

Somehow knowing where it is can be comforting but it brings back memories of when it traveled.

Comments for Retirement and the Remote Control

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traveling remote
by: Anonymous

Oh thank you what a wonderful story. Since I retired I have never lost the remote but my wonderful pets are not interested in it. They tend to take slippers and shoes and hide them and they are fairly easy to re find.

I lost my TV remote
by: Sherry/NC

This story is funny. I am laughing out loud because I can lose my remote all by myself and I don't have a dog.

Your dogs are playing a game with you and is it entertaining or frustrating.

I think TV remotes and keys are the most lost items.

Thank you for a funny. It is always good to laugh.

remote control
by: mildred/tn

Love her humor She should be a writer.

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