( West Chester)
Now age 72, and three years into retirement I have joined the swamp of alligators. Anxiety hangs around me like a shadow, I cannot shake it off.
some back history: My dream was going to college; did that and earned a MA. Worked where I always dreamed of working, in a library, first as Head of Children's Dept, and then in an university as Head of Circulation helping professors and students. I also did fulfilling volunteer work as a Literacy Tutor, and other volunteer activities.
Recently, I filled in online volunteer forms and have not heard back. At an younger age I volunteered and was always wanted as a volunteer. In the spring I will attempt to volunteer through United Way. We are going into our cold snowy time of the year plus I have major dental starting in a few weeks.
Now: I keep busy, the gym, chatting with friends, lifelong learning classes, embroidery, etc. somehow it is not enough. I feel like I am just filling in empty time, that somehow life is not meaningful. I don't know how to make my life feel meaningful. I don't know how to accept pleasing myself with daily activities. It seems like a slide towards the end of my life.
For 8 eights I took generic Citalopram (Celexa) and for some years it helped then I realized I was a "plastic person with little emotions".
I am seeing a therapist, after a year of searching and trying out therapists I have found a therapist that seems to work for me. I am fighting taking duloxetine, which my primary dr has recommended. I would like to hear pros and cons from folks who have taken this medication.
My health is fairly good, lots of aches, diabetics somewhat under control- do not need medication according to the dr., house is paid for, only major bill is paying for my car. Loving family and grandkids nearby and see/talk with them weekly.
So why the heck can't I shake depression and anxiety off? Is it better to take Cymbalta (generic) and be in a haze? Does the medication really help?