Retirement blues

by Mike
(Colorado)

I retired 8 weeks ago after 18 years of working a job that sucked the wellbeing out of my soul.

I have a small pension, no health insurance other than VA medical.

I am 10 years from SSA.
Finances are a mess.
Wife has been disabled for 12 years.

I have to force myself to get out of bed in the morning then spend the day worrying about everything.

My wife wants to travel yet with the living expenses barely covered there is no extra. This creates extreme stress.

I know leaving my job was good at the time, not sure now.

Thank you

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There is hope.
by: Anonymous

Sorry to hear of your blues. I was in a job that sucked the life out of me, too. So I know how you feel.

I retired at 63. I felt that I was better off living on Social Security than going to work and feeling miserable all the time and being treated poorly.

On my job, a new manager was brought in, and the old one fired, and other people moved out. I was the only one left. They brought in younger people and I really felt like an outsider. And treated as such. My work was criticized all the time and I was treated poorly. I had to confront those people. I filed a complaint that went all the way up to the President of the company who apologized to me personally. But they still wanted me out. The company was changing - all the older workers were being replaced with younger people. So it became a place I didn't want to be at anymore. Even now, when I meet a few old work friends for lunch, I avoid the building, I don't want anything to do with the place as it brings back very bad feelings.

I saw it coming and for 3 years I planned my retirement. Calculating daily how I would accomplish it. Thinking about it day and night. I was worried that it wouldn't work out and I'd be homeless. But, to my surprise, it did work out. And for extra money, I pickup side work teaching guitar.

If you have any skills that you can teach, doesn't matter what they are, you can make extra money teaching. I signed up on Thumbtack.com and have made quite a bit of extra money teaching guitar, and graphic arts - which was my 42 year career.

By the way, I am glad my 42 year career is over in graphics. Getting to retirement and going into retirement was quite stressful for me. I had no money saved when I got this job, but they had a good profit sharing program and while my financial counselor told me to keep working till age 72, I retired. And found that it was easy to retire.

If I need to get a job later, I'll drive a cab, or work in a grocery store, whatever it takes. I am not so concerned about it and my worries were unfounded.

So there is a way out. If you have any skills of any type, you can market those and make some money while looking for a full time job.

Check Your Local Resources
by: Barbie NJ

I know how you feel about not wanting to get out of bed. I have been home bound for 8 yrs, rarely getting out.

Check to see if you have an Office on Aging and Disability. Our county one produces a booklet of resources. We also have a county Human Services Directory full of resources. They include many things that might help you.

The Board of Chosen Freeholders and the county Human Services Advisory Council put it together. They both list organizations, food banks, soup kitchens, local health clinics and much more.

You would feel better if you did go back to work I'm sure. Every time I went back it picked up my spirits and I felt much better!!

Sending prayer

Find something new😄
by: cyndy

I worked 281/2 years at one of those jobs you have described. I didn't really know who I was till I left and was able to see my life in a different light.

I retired 18 months ago at 60. The first 8 months I just tried to get some rest and figure out life. Work had been my life or what I thought was life I knew it was bad but didn't know any different.

I was kind of lost without my work routine. So I found a part time job. I work at a gymnastics gym at the front desk do various office duties. I work 2 days a week just enough to get me out of the house and gives me purpose and meaning again.

I worked in a technical field that there was no room for error and the hours were so long missed out on so many life events because I was working all the time. Now I am doing something so different and so enjoyable.

I guess what I am trying to express to you is there is life after that stressful job and there are many employers who are looking for good people of our age bracket. Don't give up on yourself and instead of worrying about things all day make your first priority putting yourself out there and making a new life. It's waiting for you all you have to do is open the door.

I am almost 62 and loving life more than I ever have! I hope this finds you having a good day and I hope you will update us on how your doing.

God Bless and never give up.

Wishing You All The Best!
by: Willie Robertson

Hello there Mike,

Man I am so sorry to hear the dilemma, (Retirement Blues), you seem to find yourself in currently, but I hope we all here can encourage you to keep the faith and not give up.

I am on the other side of the spectrum with the (EMPLOYMENT BLUES), lol... I have been working full time a total of 40 plus years and
I have been in my current job 22 years.

I am planning to take early retirement at the end of 2016.

I am blessed at age 58 to have a good job and good pay for what I do, but there is no room for advancement in the job and it literally is the same old same old, drab feeling of going into work each day.

Currently I am working on opportunities to earn income from home now and after retirement.

You stated that you left your job after 18 years because it sucked the life out of you, sadly, I work with many people suffering with that same feeling... I can see it all over their face and from their attitudes.

They think they are not able to retire, or they are scared to because they feel they can't afford health Insurance, so instead they continue to work, unhappy and unfulfilled.

Man it's as if, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

Mike, have you considered any work at home ventures? There are many available, potentially, though you must do your homework.

BTW, here is a suggestion of where you may possibly be able to get some assistance with your health insurance. I will be checking into it myself as I approach the end of my current working career.

It is>>> http://www.chministries.org/daveramsey

Like I mentioned, I am planning to take early retirement at years end 2016, and I know Health Insurance will be a concern, but I plan to retire regardless, I just cannot see myself continuing to work in my job feeling the way I do. Sometimes I am near tears when it comes time to go into work.

Over the years I have come to know when it is time to make a change in my life because when I get dissatisfied, my mouth crooks up to the left like I have had a stroke,lol.

Do you and your wife take dietary supplements? That can help with mental and physical health/mood.

Lastly, I have been blessed from giving to God's work it just seems to open up opportunities that were not previously there.

You have just got to find a reason to get up and out of bed each day, else what is the alternative?

Hopefully you and your wife can find something(s) to do together.

Keep coming to this site I have found it to be of great encouragement.

he was misread!
by: Susan

Wendy, he retired 8 WEEKS ago. and 10 years from SocSec could be 56, as most,many strive to take soc sec at full retirement age. And to whomever that read 'his wife is an invalid', he said she is disabled. this has a huge range of disability, and she very could wish to travel! my goodness. but if money is tight, he should look for another job, to help get him out of bed.

Find Another Job And Take A Trip By Tour On Motorcoach
by: Judy

You are still young - You need another job - Find one - Don't be afraid to try this, even if it might take anywhere from 1 to 5 different jobs to find the one for you - Yes, find one, even if it is part-time - but it has to be something that you like - This will help you to get up in the morning - You NEED the monies, it sure sounds-like!

Also, you need to look forward to something that will excite both of you - Yes, a small trip by Motorcoach - You can find them in your city - They cater to people with disabilities. They have 1 day trips even - Try that first, and then you might try one that will take you away from home for a whole week.....very exciting - You need this to help with your depression.....Get Going And Don't Give Up Hope.

Reach out
by: Sandy

I am sorry to hear about so much going on in your life. If you can't get out of bed, though, that may be time to reach out to a local organization for help.

There are many mental health services that may be affordable and help you determine if you are experiencing depression. It is very hard to face the world and look forward if you have depression.

If you can get help for that, you can start developing a plan on how to work somewhere that will get you enough money to travel and live without so much stress.

I wish you the very best. Please know that there are resources to help you in your area - don't do this alone. Even if you talk to the VA and ask, they should be able to help. Blessings to you as you go forward.

The Joy of Writing
by: Retd. Prof. Durgeshkumar Srivastava, C3 Janakpuri, New Delhi, India

As I crossed the age of 60, I methodically began changing my routine. One change was to allow other family members to read the morning newspapers first and wait for these to be free. On many days, I would read the papers late in the evening, when it would be more convenient to cut out parts for preserving these in my files.

One evening, I saw a small advertisement calling for papers for a proposed national conference on the problems of the aged. I had no computer ... only an English manual typewriter. I began hand writing my paper in Hindi language and by the time I had finished it and made a neat edited copy on fresh sheets of white foolscap papers, the morning light was coming through the window. I put my article in an envelope, addressed it the Conference Secretary and went out in the early morning to drop it in the postal letter box at the road corner. I soon forgot all about it.

I was surprised by the arrival of a letter from the Conference Secretary. He had invited me to come to Mumbai for the 3 day Conference, with an offer of free hospitality and rail fares.

On reaching the conference venue, it was a pleasant surprise to find that my article was the first in a book that had all the articles/papers received. I was complimented by conference attendees not only for the only article in Hindi, the national language of India, but also for the uniqueness of the theme chosen for it ...

Jeewan ke Sandhyakal Mein Bhavnatmak Anand "

*Emotional Joy in the Evening of Life")

Dear friends, In the senior years of our life, we need not only material things like money, a home, a family and our social connections, but also an inner emotional world of peace, joy and feeling useful. Work brings it to us as also our attitude towards ourselves and others.

I recall the story of a very old lady that I had narrated in my article. This lady was the 80 year old grandmother of our landlords. As a young couple in the late 1960s, we lived in a 2 roomed flat adjoining the portion where the landlord lived. They used to address her as DADI.

I would find DADI sitting on a floor mat, untangling multi-colored strands of knitting wool and wrapping these into balls of individual colors. Dadi told me that she brought the tangled wool from the nearby garment factory and they would pay her INR 5 for every 10 balls. She would use this money to give tiny treats to her grandkids and small charities to beggars. Her face glowed with self satisfaction.

IN the same conference, there was a Christian couple hailing from a coastal village in India. While we all were savoring gourmet lunch in the dining room, this couple had only plain rice and simple potato curry on their plates. They told me that they had made it a life long practice to eat simple and cheap local food for their Sunday lunch and donate the money thus saved for the kids of the poor local fishermen of their village.

I am now in the 12th year of my retired life. I give more importance to small things in life which give me inner joy and peace.

Early retirement
by: Jessie

He retired 8 weeks ago Wendy but you make some good points. Also I find it a little strange that his 'invalid' wife wants to travel. Perhaps they are both being a little unrealistic.


Time to rethink your life
by: Elna Nugent, Lenox, MA

Dear Mike:

I assume your wife does not work apart from the home and you live on your pension alone.

Wendy may be right. There very well could be a job out there that doesn't suck the life out of your soul but energizes you instead.

It could be any job that you think you could learn to do well. All week long your present job could be "looking for a job that you could even enjoy."

Also you live in one of the most beautiful states in the USA. You don't have to travel far to find new places right around you that you never knew existed.

With their children off to college, my son and his wife have fun on weekends just getting in their car and picking a spot or place in our area that they have never really seen before ... they take their cameras with them. They often have an adventure, or meet interesting people and discover a new spot to get a luscious lunch. Mini vacations on weekends don't have to be expensive. Just fill the tank and explore. We wish you an interesting year ahead. E;

Give it another try
by: Dean/Tennessee

Try and find another job. I'm retired now but was never able to stick with one job for more than 10 or 12 years. I had 6 jobs over a period of 40 years. Y

ou've got more of what it takes than me considering you stuck it out for 18 years at a soul sucking job. Go ahead, you can do it.

Find something that doesn't try your soul so. There are some jobs out there that aren't so bad.

Reinvent yourself after retirement
by: mildred tn

Please log in to THE THRIFTY COUPLE's site. Today they have - how to make $3,500/month while at home. I can see my self doing this. DISCLAIMER FROM WENDY: this is not easy.

I retired at age 56, then became a Foster Parent, a Day Care in my home, joined the government's program to help single mom;s get into the work place by caring for their children.These jobs were combined and worked out great and I was happy.

I was able to adopt one of my foster sons at age 60,and when I turned 62 I was able to claim him on my social security until he is now 18.

Before I retired from 38 years of being a registered nurse I was able to start investing in real estate which has carried me thru 23 years of retirement.

DON'T EVER GIVE UP. Keep researching,reinvesting time,money and helping others.

Redo... :)
by: Wendy

Ten years from Social Security? SS can start at age 62, does that mean you are only 52? or as someone suggested, are you older but forcing yourself to wait to 65-66 for Social Security?

IF you are 52, why not WORK again? Do anything -- just get out of the house every day, earn some income to make ends meet easier... and maybe you'll go somewhere. Work can be your social outlet, and get some income flowing. It doesn't need to be a stessor.

You DO have options -- get moving as there is still LIFE to LIVE!

Best Wishes!

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