Retirement Depression

by Linda
(Iowa)

My problem here is I seem to have lost all my friends most or a lot are still working.

I also can't get my husband to retire, he is a trucker and loves that open road where he gets paid for the miles. I thought of trading my small car off on a panel van, fix it up and then go camping. But I honestly don't want to do that alone as to be gone to far away.

I have diabetes and mine is the kind that just doesn't want to run by the rules. I also have two cats that would miss those can lunches they love so much, so I am back to driving around in my small car.

Wish I could find someone to do things with. I have tried to find new friends but if they are married they want to do a weekend thing with the guys.

But my guy is gone two weeks at a time, home for maybe two days where he wants to sleep one and go to church on Sunday, then bug out on Monday. No weekend fun with another couple and pretty much shut that down.

So I got a dog now he does keep me busy, keeps me moving and he is that friend. My depression was doing better but then a friend (she was 86) died and that set me back some. She was more like a second mom but she was a good person to talk to and she could make you laugh no matter how you were feeling.

I retired first with the hopes my husband would decide to do it too. However it hasn't worked that way he bought a new pickup and its got to be paid for.

I have another new plan in that I am going to pack up the house and we can move someplace new. He did agree to that but its my baby.

So maybe that will bring me out of my depression or I will be to tired to think about it. There is this hog packing plant about to open in my small town, many new people coming in and so it would be a good time to sell our house. Then find something else, a good time to down size also.

I shall keep posting on this and let you know where it all went. Or how well it went. I also try to keep in touch with God, as in morning Bible studies and praying that helps me a lot too.

Take care...

Comments for Retirement Depression

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Attitude Adjustment Required
by: Wendy, www.retirement-online.com

Hey -- you are aging, and you are retired. Surprise!

If you want to live in an imaginary world where you are not aging, go for it... and remain depressed.

If you choose to face life and reality, you are aging -- we all are. That's how life goes. Right?

Both aging and retirement seriously require a whole new mindset and ideas on what to do with your time.

You can't work forever -- nobody can. If you choose to not retire, the employer will force you out. Retirement happens to us all.

Now - the question is -- what do you intend to do with your bonus years?

Many don't live long enough for these years...
freedom to be You and do what You care to do!

Sending prayer to you!
All of the suggestions are why I'm depressed
by: Anonymous

Get a hobby, volunteer, God... all crap old people do.
I too live in Iowa
by: Marylou

Where about in Iowa do you live, maybe we live close enough to get to know one another. You see I am a widow and lonely many friends have passed on and the ones still married don't bother with the single ones. Hope to hear from you.
Retirement Depression
by: Carol

Linda, to me, selling your house at this time would not resolve your problems as they would still be there. You would just take them with you.

You would also be in a totally new place which is always hard to adjust to at first.

If you could find a hobby that you really love and maybe find a group to join for that.

After I retired I started line dancing and it was the greatest thing ever! I would still be doing it except for health problems.
to Linda
by: Anonymous

Hi Linda,

Sounds like you have a lot of good ideas and if you move you will be very busy for a while to pack and move (and somewhat traumatic).

You might want to consider going on some of your husband's trips with him if he is going somewhere pretty or interesting. Not all the time of course, too tiring and too easy to lose contact with new friends, but a few times a year.

Carry on
Retirement Depression
by: Sherry

So many of us in the world lonely and I wish so much we could find each other! I work at finding new friends everyday. I do 2 volunteer jobs and that helps.

Just get in your car or walk somewhere every-day. I love to be outside and I love nature. I walk my neighborhood everyday and go to exercise class 3 times a week.

Good luck to you and stay healthy!
You are not alone...
by: Wendy, www.retirement-online.com

Many go through this same thing, but you really sound logical and like you are seriously working through your issues. Many don't... so good for you!

Think outside the box to find new friends:

-- Library programs (free) or Book Clubs
-- Eat Breakfast out and look for other singles who do it often
-- Try meetups.com to see what groups are local for you
-- Volunteer at church to meet new people

Just think where others go to help and be helped. You will be fine! Get out of the house and go somewhere, be with people, and simple take action.

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