Retirement: I am a miserable wretch
Hi everyone, my name is Soky and I am 66 years old. I retired from the Department of the Navy after 37 wonderful years. I am and have always been a city girl since I wss born in New York City and my last 10 years of employment were at Tampa, FL.
A few months before retiring, my ex-husband asked me to marry him and due to all the stressors I wss going through, I said yes and took a flight that same day to Puerto Rico.
I have been here for a year since we married and am the most miserable retiree in the world.
My days consist of getting up, having breakfast and watching TV or the computer. After cleaning the small house there is not much for me to do. He works and there is only one car, so I am in the house 24/7.
I thought that my retirement years would be full, happy, maybe a little traveling, spending time with my children. But I am here.
I take Valium to sleep during the daytime and Trazodone during the night. Sometimes I take two so that I can sleep all day.
I am so unhappy, oh my goodness, why did I do this I am so lonely and don't dare just take off and leave because I know divorce is a sin. Am I able instead to separate and live in the States while he lives in the country? He is adamant about going to Florida even though we had talked about him visiting.
Can someone please help me? I am desperate. I am drinking wine almost daily and just want to die. I thank anyone that can take a little time to talk to me.
Thank you. Soky