Retirement regrets

by Confused woman/New York

It's been 2 years since I have retired and all I do is talk about my old job . I keep saying I should have stayed, why did I leave.

My husband has cancer for the 3rd time and he really needs me now more than ever. Had I been working I wouldn't be able to take off to take him to chemotherapy.

But I still think about my old job about though so found a part time job in a preschool that is less than 5 minutes from my home. I have finished working in June, and I am focusing on my husband and his poor health.

I can't stop having regrets about retiring even though it's been 2 years already.

Does anyone have any advice for me, maybe you Wendy could help me, retirement is supposed to be a happy time in a person's life, yet I am so sad and depressed all the time.

Comments for Retirement regrets

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What are you missing?
by: Laura in Vermont

What are you really missing? Are you missing the job or are you missing how it was when your husband wasn't ill and you were working at something you enjoyed?

Maybe it was that time of life that was so good compared to now.

What do you do while he's having chemo? Do you have something you'd like to do then? Figure out how, and do that.

When he's feeling good and you have a chunk of time, find things to do together that make you both happy.

Improve your moments together while you have them and do some things for yourself. Caretaking is a terribly hard job and you have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of him.
2 years and sad
by: Anonymous

Two years is a long time to feel like this.

Hmmmm....Can you identify EXACTLY what aspect you miss? Money? Schedule? Dealing with the Public, Colleagues, Technical work? Computer work? Exercise? Dressing up? Creativity? Meetings? If you can identify which aspect you liked most, then recreate it in different ways in retirement.

My job was very creative. Now, I go online and find free things to be creative in my garden. My garden evolves as I find things to creatively incorporate.

I also can be quite technical. So I love to try to memorize and apply the "rules" and "exceptions to the rules" of the French language.

I miss some of the personal supportive give and take in work. Well, there is an online group, in my case overeaters anonymous, with 5 (maybe 8?) online meetings per day. So whenever I feel I want to give and get support, there will soon be an online meeting.

Schedule? I made a loose one for myself.

Let me know if this helps. Oh, also, I tell myself, "No time to be mad (substitute regretful, sad, etc.) because life is slipping away." For some reason this helps me make a quick 180 degree turn should I happen to get the blahs.

Also, I feel my job now is to love. Wherever, whenever I can.
Husband needs you
by: Anonymous

My husband also has cancer. It recently recurred. Please take care of your husband as you may not have him with you as long as you think.

I’m sending positive thoughts your way for his return to health. If you lose him, you will have plenty of time to return to work. I thank God for each day my honey and I can spend together.

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