Retirement Shock

by Laura
(Canada)

My retirement has certainly been a strange journey. I keep thinking I’m on vacation and will return to my job soon.

I even tried a volunteer job which would have been a great job replacement had I just embraced it. I kept thinking and longing for my former job when there. I couldn’t let go. I felt old and out of place. Now I’m lost again but I’m trying to not dwell on the past as much.

I’m having a hard time forgiving myself for quitting my volunteer job. I feel guilty and ungrateful for what could have been my new purpose.

I’m taking an art class which is helping and piano lessons is next.

I’m finally getting used to the idea of not working. For a long time I grieved the loss of my job. I can get through the day now without thinking about my former life.

I’m attempting church services more and trying to make friends there. Nothing will ever replace my job but I’m better than I was.

Retirement is a foggy journey indeed!

Comments for Retirement Shock

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Changes
by: Sherry/ NC

Things change throughout our lifetimes and yes they are suppose to!

Find yourself a new purpose. We just need a purpose in life and you can find it if you look hard enough. Don't be afraid to look for a new purpose. Fear is a sin; it holds us back from what we really want to do. If you don't first succeed try try again!

Keep on keeping on life's highway was meant for you!

What Wendy said
by: Nancy

I try to remember the words from Wendy' last paragraph. I longed for my old job, but that job is not there anymore. Everything has changed. And the job I longed for never did exist.

Oh, I enjoyed the work, but there were a lot of things that could and did go wrong. Just to mention one, office politics, which was rampant and detrimental every place I worked. Also Wendy mentioned the physical demands of the job, I couldn't do it now if I wanted to.

I wish you all the best in retirement. Listen to Wendy. And you will hear many stories here that strike a responsive chord.

Structure part of your day
by: Anonymous

Laura, I would write a list of those things you enjoyed in your former job and add to that list other things that bring you joy.

I have found that it was the structure of the job that I missed the most. I had to show up, do my work, stopped for lunch, went back to work, etc.

If you find that this is what you miss the most then create a "structure" for yourself and do those things within a certain timeframe (maybe every morning), keeping open the afternoon for other things.

Hope this helps

Open new doors
by: Wee-zer

Laura, seems you are going forward with new things. That is all we can do! Wendy is right, we can't go backward.

I too am haunted by losing my perfect job. I was among a lot of people my age when I started the job and we all aged together. On that job, I learned to use the computer, learned new procedures, travelled, given a lot of responsibilities and several promotions. I learned so much from that job and it changed me as a person. I do miss that job a lot but it is gone forever.

I am grateful for that job because of 401K, the savings I was able to accomplish and now have a good retirement.

Just be thankful you had a good job that you miss. Just think if you had many years of misery which many people have to endure. Pass on your knowledge to others.

That will give you joy!

Stop Living Backwards
by: Wendy, retirement enthusiast

You simply can't change the past. Period.

I would bet you there were plenty of things about your beloved workplace that you DID NOT LIKE while you worked there. It's only through the job loss, you loved that job.

What you resist, the subconscious mind hangs on to. It knows you feared what you resisted (loss of job) -- and its job is to help you remember so it doesn't happen again. Oddly enough, it could be an old loss from childhood, or another job loss, that brought this last one back into fear mode.

You are walking away, and yes, it's taking time. You will be fine. Let your subconscious know you are fine. You are finding your own brand of happiness and contentment. You certainly didn't need that job to exist on this planet. You are much more than one job, Right?

Most working people LONG for the days when they won't work. It's only when you no longer work that you think you want back into the rat race, and that work you want is seriously gone. Things change. The methods and software, mental abilities and physical challenges all change. The management changes.

Breathe. Meditate and wait for answers.

Live in your heart -- where something is lurking to come out and live again

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