Retirement: Should Be Happier
I retired from my second career on April 1st. Career #1 - US Air Force; career #2 - University of Connecticut. I turned 60 two weeks before I retired.
I was so so excited to start my retirement but am now pretty sad. I don't regret retiring but I am shocked that I was pretty much "forgotten" as soon as I walked out the door. We were all like a family so this is very hard.
Even my "bff" has stopped talking to me. I was her supervisor but we were also the best of friends. So much so that I was considered her 3 kid's second grandmother. She is in essence blaming me for retiring, says by trying to stay friends I am "smothering" her, etc.
We unfortunately see the same therapist who has been trying to mediate. I told the therapist yesterday that I don't want her to do that anymore. If my alleged bff still wants me in her life, she knows where to find me.
The whole thing has caused deep depression, panic attacks, and second guessing the therapist. I need to shake it off but I can't seem to. When I think I have a handle on it, I get kicked down again.
I miss my friends, I miss being able to stop by the office, I miss a little bit of everything. My therapist is telling me I need to learn to separate myself from it but it's been like a roller coaster so far.
I'm single so I have way too much time to sit and think when I am home. Thanks for "listening."