SAD, DISILLUSIONED, LONELY
by RUTH SIMPSON
I'm disillusioned by the selfishness of people.
Why is that?
Well, I have no friends. Not real friends. I have many good time friends, as long as I supply the gas and car for rides, ideas for outings, a shoulder to cry on, an advisor for problems, food for meals, money to supplement theirs, or extra hands to help. But should I need any of these, they suddenly turn their backs on me and disappear.
I was raised to give. Give up the best piece of cake for the guest. Give up the most comfortable chair for company. Give up my time to assist a friend. Give myself second best to be a good host and friend.
However, as I grow older, I have less abundance to hand over. My finances are meagre, my energy less, my body more arthritic and weak and my needs have increased.
It is now that I would really appreciate the ride, the dinner invitation, the offer to help me to move or hang pictures, the kind ear to listen and the warm, loving hug to let me know that I matter.
But these things don't exist in my life and I look at my generation and the next and the next and wonder when these simple acts of human interaction and kindness went astray.
The "ME" generation has produced the "X" generation. Does the "X" stand for 'X out all else except for that which can benefit 'me'?'
Manners have flown the coop. A simple 'please and thank you' has all but been erased from the vocabulary of most folks. Opening and holding doors for those who are close behind one, has been substituted by letting the door hit the follower in the face, just so one can be first. Compassion has all but disappeared.
Over the years, I have found people who move in and out of my life. Mostly out, for as soon as I no longer fulfill their needs, they leave me high and dry.
Now that I am older, I look back and assess my life and all who have been a part of it and who are in and out of my life now. I realize that I have given too much of me and kept too little for myself.
I see that the world doesn't care anymore about those around them. It has become a fast paced, self absorbed society that leaves the 'Softies' like me behind. Softies, like me, are rungs in the ladder, used to give others the step up needed, and Softies are regarded as broken rungs, once the 'climbers' get all the boost that they need.
So where does that leave me?
Alone, sad, disillusioned and poor.
Life isn't so great, you know.