Save Your Marriage from Divorce

by Wendy,

Save Your Marriage

Save Your Marriage

Today, I am writing about how to save your marriage from a divorce. I really hate the idea of divorce later in life... but it happens even after retirement.

Keeping the relationship happy and positive isn't always easy!

  • How can you be married and suddenly hate your best friend?
  • Is there no other solution?
  • Is there seriously nothing left to work for?

    I watched so many divorces get so mean, when the partners had to split pensions. The attorneys don't mind at all, and sometimes might even provoke the parties, as they are earning money for each hour spent on the divorce... right? Nowadays, pensions are split by Domestic Relationship Orders (before retirement). Don't let your marriage get to this point, no way!

    A healthy relationship takes conscious effort. It's relatively easy to walk away, not so easy to keep a married relationship working a lifetime. There are ups and downs, of course, but please try to make it through those down times.

    While relationships are frequently complicated, simple ideas can sometimes have a big effect on the marriage. The suggestions below can help to get a struggling relationship back on track, or keep an already satisfying one on the right path.

    Please... If you have an idea that works well in your marriage, please add it in the comments!

    Avoid taking your relationship for granted. "Love" is a verb, an action. Everything tends to degrade over time unless energy is put into it. Without energy and attention, most in life will eventually fall apart. Relationships are no different. Without some attention along the way, they will degrade over time as well.
 Be kind to one another.

    Make time for togetherness activities. Making time for this doesn't even have to be expensive; some of the best things are free. It's really about spending some of your retirement time together.

    -- Go get ice cream at the Dairy Queen.
    -- Go to the Library or a free seminar together.
    -- A walk around the neighborhood (maybe while you hold hands).
    -- Little notes and small gifts are a simple and easy way to keep joy in your relationship.

    Any time together can make a world of difference -- step away from the tv and the computer, for a few minutes, and do something together.

    Date your partner. Dating tends to stop pretty quickly in most relationships. But your retirement doesn't have to be that way.

    -- Go out to breakfast or lunch (cheaper than dinner if you are counting pennies).
    -- Do dinner somewhere different every week.
    -- Go to a matinee, it's not expensive.
    -- Take a drive around town, stop for coffee and a piece of pie.
    -- Take a senior day trip, jump on the bus and enjoy the day together, touring somewhere you both have never been before.
    -- Experiment and bring adventures, big or small, into both of your lives.

    Don't be afraid of professional help. If you can't figure it out on your own, seek professional assistance. You don't fix your car yourself or perform surgery on yourself; you get an expert. If your relationship is really struggling, bring in an expert. That's what they're there for.

    A long-term relationship can be one of the most rewarding parts of life. You have someone who cares about you and someone you care for. You can share all of life's challenges, joys, and pains as a partnership. Your history together brings many memories and closeness. For most people, this is much more satisfying than being alone (but not always, I understand that too).

    If this relationship is one of the most significant aspects of your life; give it the attention it deserves.

    Please... If you have an idea that works well in your marriage, please add it in the comments!

  • Comments for Save Your Marriage from Divorce

    Click here to add your own comments

    by: Barb/Ft. Myers, Florida

    Thanks Wendy! Your posting is so positive. There are people who automatically suggest divorce to people's postings, an easy-out. Bless you!

    by: Ricardo

    If, I have discovered ANYTHING after forty six years of marriage, it is that YOU MUST share some interests.....EVEN if it is only one! Having things in common makes ANY relationship easier to deal with.

    Respect for each other and their little "idiosyncrasies" can go a long, long way in a partnership. Shared responsibilities, being trustworthy, dependable, loving, caring, these are all attributes that help build a strong bond between two individuals. A bond, I might add that can set an example for generations to come.

    These are actions that cost us nothing but, can impact ALL of our loved ones in a positive sense, AND can be passed on within families. What could be better than that......immortality thru positive relationships!!

    This is what works for me
    by: Nancy

    My husband and I have a happy marriage. He is my best friend. Both of us are introverts and like to spend time alone together.

    He is supportive of my passion which is sewing and collecting vintage sewing machines. Out of respect for him, I don't let my spending on these 2 hobbies get out of hand (smile).

    His passions are outdoor activities like mowing and gardening. I try to be supportive of his activities too. He likes to grow tomatoes, but doesn't like to eat them! So I eat them and brag on them. They are very good.

    My father was a very abusive man. He raged on me on a daily basis my whole life from the time I could remember at a very young age. It boggles my mind that you would a) treat an innocent child like that and b) treat you family members, whom are the most important people in your life like that. I inherited my dad's rage, but I make a conscious decision on a daily basis not to act out in rage when I get frustrated or irritated.

    I treat my husband with kindness, and when I'm in a bad mood, I remember it is not his fault! I remember to do little acts of kindness all day every day. And it is not fake or forced because he is the world to me and I love him dearly. I never take our marriage for granted.

    Say Thanks Often
    by: Anonymous

    Say thank you often, not just for the special things but for sharing your life with me...

    Click here to add your own comments

    Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Marriage in Retirement.....