Sedentary Husband

by Ryan Massachusetts

I see I'm not the only one here with this issue. My husband is an airline pilot and has been sitting at home for 11 months now because of COVID getting paid through the teeth to do nothing. Yes it could be worse - he could be unemployed.

But I get up every day and log onto to my miserable job that I've come to hate, while he lays around the house watching re-runs, literally wearing a hole in the couch cushion.

He could exercise, or do a puzzle or walk the dogs but in 11 months I haven't seen him do one goddam thing with this gift of time. I've never had problems filling time with interests; music, reading, volunteering, museums, hiking etc.

This is what worries me. What kind of retirement can I expect?

Am I going to have some boat anchor tied around my neck?

Comments for Sedentary Husband

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Choose peace, joy, and creativity
by: Jeanne Savelle/Atlanta

We cannot control others, only ourselves. You've heard: Be the change you want to see in the world (or in your marriage.)

The thoughts you have now that feel more important than thinking thoughts that create peace, gratitude, joy, and love, are what is creating your dissatifaction.

You get to decide what you want to think, how you want to feel, and thet results you have in your life.

Your thoughts do not always tell the truth. When we think negative thoughts, we stop our brains from finding creative options. When our thoughts pass and we lighten up, then our brains are free to find new solutions.

If you feel bad about your life, realize that you are choosing to grab onto thoughts that aren't helpful.

Let the bad thoughts go, choose those or peace, joy, and creativity. Your husband will see the change and might just join you!
I definitely get it!
by: Anonymous

My husband retired before I did, so while I was at work, I really didn't know what he was doing all day. But now that I have retired (3 years now) I have discovered that he does nothing all day. Literally nothing.

He has no interests. He had a slight interest in photography until I bought him a nice camera, thinking we could go out together and take photos. But that has never happened.

I have tried getting him to go on a walk, a hike, to the movies, out to dinner, anything... anything. But he just does nothing. It drives me crazy.

My retirement has been so disappointing. However, when covid subsides a little, I am going to start traveling by myself and hoping to make some friends along the way that like to get out and enjoy life.

I know that my husband will sit home and complain, but I just can't sit here anymore. I have many interests and fill my time with many enjoyable things, but I am ready to get out of here and have a great life.
Start the discussion and don't miss out on life
by: Michael - Sunny and Warm Venice Florida

It's time to start the discussion with your spouse about the retirement that YOU envision.

Start with, "I've been thinking about my retirement...." and see what his response is.

I have found that I don't share the same interests as my husband. It was the same with my parents. Dad loves tennis, yard work, and going to the movies. Mom loves music, reading, and crafts. So, Dad does his thing. Mom does hers.

I invite my spouse to outings or events. And, if he doesn't want to go, I go it alone.

Don't miss out on life if your spouse doesn't want to participate.

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