Seenager

by John
(East Texas)

I am a Senager. (Senior teenager)

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

I don’t have to go to school or work.

I get an allowance every month.

I have my own pad.

I don’t have a curfew.

I have a driver’s license and my own car.

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne.

Life is great.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.


If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?


Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to someone on this site , or did someone send it to me?

Comments for Seenager

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Thanks for the Laugh
by: Canadian Retiree

Thank you Seenager for starting my day with a smile. You have a wonderful outlook about growing old and retiring. So many of us enter retirement with trepidation and fear, you've put a whole new twist on it for me! Great writing too by the way.
Made Me Laugh
by: FLorida

This was good. Full of humor! Thanks for Sharing!
Tee Hee Hee
by: Deborah, Bath OH

This sounds like something that I would write. And it brought a smile to my face this morning, this sunny morning. Thank you! Have a blessed day.
Funny You Should Mention That
by: Steve Bremner Philadelphia Pa.

Thanks for the practical "cheat sheet" for a Second Childhood.

I've always promised myself that I'll embark on a Second Childhood if I ever manage to emerge completely from my First Childhood.

Which, with my 65th birthday coming up, is looking increasingly unlikely... ;-)
Perfectly defined
by: Jane/Texas

I truly enjoyed this. It made such good sense. People think I am being cute when I tell them I dance barefoot in the kitchen. They do not know it is because I cannot remember where I was when I kicked off my shoes.

Love the humor and the sentiment. Good Job!!

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