Sitting inside while the brambles attack the house..
by Scott / SouthDevon
Finished work two months ago, my own business & very stressful after 27 years. Loads of plans: lose weight, join a gym, attack the garden which had been neglected for several years -mainly due to us both having varying degrees of depression, blitz the house that had been similarly neglected, read more again, volunteer for something, catch up with old friends, etc, etc...
What am I actually doing? Not sleeping thinking about everything that needs doing, getting up late even though I’ve always been a morning person then feeling knackered all day.
Look out at all that needs doing & sit & have another look at the news channels. It’s all just overwhelming. Netflix during lunch turns into 2 hour sessions (followed by an afternoon ‘nap’). The only thing I really do is plan & cook the evening meal.
My partner, still working, is incredibly supportive but I can tell is getting annoyed at my lack of effort & who can blame him. This just adds layers of guilt to all the others.
The only time i’ve actually been the me I'd expected to be was 3 weeks in when we took off in our camper van for 2 weeks in Brittany. Slept well, read 3 books, went for walks voluntarily & drank a lot less. Home & back to the slob.
Realise there’s an element of depression involved & know all the ‘start on something small’ suggestions but just seem to be drifting rudderless at the moment.