Stolen Mothers day---> Wives Day

by Feeling cheated
(Plainfield,Illinois )

This has nothing to do with retirement but I just need to get it off my chest.

I just read an article by a woman journalist going on and on about how husbands can't do enough for their wives on Mother's Day. How she sacrificed so much more to be a good mother than he does to be considered a good father.

Now I do agree for the most part that this is pretty much true, this is not a new thing, women have mostly carried a bigger family burden. What really galls me is that women expect so much from their husbands on Mother's Day that their own mothers get relegated to the bottom of the list.

They get the call at the end of the day after he has taken his wife out for the day and is so exhausted that he can't wait till his obligatory call to his mother is over.

We need an extra holiday called wives day so that they will leave our day alone.

It's bad enough they take our sons but now they have to steal our Mother's Day as well. When I first had my son I ask my husband why he didn't get me a Mother's Day card and he told me that I wasn't his mother.

So my generation got stiffed on both ends. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel this way?

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Stolen MD
by: Weez R

It is hard to comment on your specific circumstances but there could be more to it than your son catering to his wife than you. What were the family dynamics when he was growing up? Did his dad teach him that mother's day was important or did he just shrug it off like a kid is supposed to figure it out on his own?

My husband was abused by his mother's second husband who did adopt him, why I don't know. Because he beat him every day of his life and made him his slave to do anything he didn't want to do. His mother just sat by and didn't defend her son. Even so much as to say to her son if he didn't do something she would tell 'his fake father'. She was putting more fuel on the fire. Not saying any of this went on in your household but there could be other things that went on that you may not even be aware of.

Why don't you speak to your son and tell him you love him very much and that you would like to spend a day or afternoon with him. It doesn't actually have to be MD and just spend quality time with him. Why can't you invite him and his family to your home and have a lovely family dinner together celebrating your love for all your family members?

To me it wouldn't matter if it was MD or the next Sunday or Saturday. As long as I could be with my family that would be all that mattered.

Stolen Mother's Day
by: Sherry

Just consider yourself lucky if you get a telephone call or card! Everyone is not thoughtful!! I wish they were because it makes for a better world!!!

I heard from my daughter and son because they are caring people. I raised them this way and no they would not allow their partners to control them; meaning from wives telling their husbands this is
only my day because you are MARRIED to me!!!

Why would a person marry someone who is this selfish in the first place!!

Made peace
by: A mother too

Dear feeling cheated, I understand! I guess "stole" a son from my mother-in-law, but he seemed to to come willingly!

If you need your son to call you earlier on mother's day, I suggest that you ask him to, whenyou are calm.

Maybe make it an "Oreo" -layer it between compliments like, "I love it that you remember me on mother's day! It would mean a lot to me if you could take a minute to call me earli in the day. (Give him a time,like by noon. Males need specific directions.) Thank you again for calling me, it's so sweet to hear from you. I love you!"

For me, I remind myself that mother's day was created to sell cards and has become a big commercial event.
It's hard enough to get along with extended family without added pressure, so I try to keep commercial interests from getting in my way.

I hope you can talk with him and feel better!

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